Hermione was surprised when an owl dropped what was clearly an international letter on her plate at breakfast.

Severus eyed it warily. She thought she heard a barely perceptible sigh, but she might have been mistaken there.

She couldn't blame him.

Without Buffy she really didn't know anyone outside of Britain who would owl her. She'd met people through her work with the Watchers Council, of course, but none she'd consider friends to where they'd be owling her. Or even send her a letter of any kind really. 

Dawn only wrote when Hermione initiated the contact and Beatrice waited for a reply. Otherwise, Dawn sent letters to their home using the Spinners End address. She seemed to realize that Hermione just liked to know she was alive and well. Come to think of it, she hadn't heard from the girl in a couple of months. She hoped she was just busy with school. Usually, the girl emailed, though. Funny to think only seven years separated them but she was definitely of a generation where emailing was thought of before a written letter. She made a reminder to herself to send her an owl this evening.

An option was Viktor, but he had his own owl that she (and Severus) recognized. This wasn't that.

She could almost hear him telling her to get on with it and open it. So she did just that.

Dear Hermione,

No one's handwriting she recognized. She could usually recognize people's handwriting from the way they wrote her name immediately.

I hope this letter finds you well.

I don't know if you will remember me, I know we didn't talk much the few times that I saw you while you were here, but Buffy spoke very highly of you and there aren't many people I can remember her doing that about. Mr. Giles. And you. That's about it.

My name is Tara Maclay. I'm Willow's girlfriend. I'm writing because I'm scared that Willow is abusing magic, using it with the wrong intentions and for the wrong reasons.

Dark magic.

She resurrected Buffy.

I'm still not entirely sure how she managed to do it, as I wasn't included in the plan. Likely because she realized that I would have told her those were magicks not to be messed with. And that there was no guarantee as to what you would be getting back.

Yes, you are reading that correctly. Buffy is alive.

She seems … okay. Herself and everything. I'm not concerned that she came back wrong and is truly something else or anything. That was my first concern, but I've seen no evidence that is the case. I have cast diagnostic of my own (admittedly both with and without Buffy's permission).

She's just different.

Then again if I'd died and came back to see the hell mouth I'd stood guard over and protected for five years was in utter chaos and shambles I'd probably be different, too.

I know Buffy well enough to know she will get back to normal. Eventually. She always does, though I've wondered how she's done it so many times. Having the support of Willow, Xander, Mr. Giles, and you helps I'm sure. So I'm not worried about her, yet, beyond her emotional state at finding herself back. I promise that I am trying to keep an eye on that.

I am truly concerned about Willow, though and don't know where else to turn. I know Mr. Giles has some knowledge of magic and can do some basic spells, but he's not a wizard. Other than Ethan Rayne I'm not sure that he has any magical connections. I'm also not sure I trust any of the magical connections he might have given his past and the magic he's admitted to dabbling in. You also have met Willow and are aware of the things she's done over the years, probably more than I am.

If I've overstepped my position as Buffy's friend I apologize. You do deserve to know your friend is here, though and no one else seemed to think to tell you. I'm sure Dawn would if she could process all of this. The poor girl, she's acting like Buffy's shadow, afraid she'll go away again I'm sure. Willow and I have tried, but we're not Buffy or Mrs. Summers.

Please don't be mad at Buffy.  This only happened within the past month, and as I said she's still getting her wits about her. I am confident she would get in contact with you once she is settled in better and adapted to being back.

Blessings,

Tara Maclay

She made sure Hermione had her phone number.

Hermione handed the letter to Severus, for once in her life feeling as though she was truly out of her depth.

Resurrection spells were absolutely nothing to mess with. So many things could go wrong.

You'd think people who dealt with vampires and had encountered someone trying to reanimate someone, resulting in him wanting to assemble himself a girlfriend out of various body parts. Hermione had not known Buffy for that, but she'd heard about it.

Never mind the stories Hermione had passed along regarding Voldemort.

Really.

What in the hell had Willow been thinking? Willow had been the one to talk Dawn into canceling the resurrection spell she'd done on Joyce! That hadn't even been that long ago for her to have forgotten!

There were some things that just were not done!

How could she...

She could feel the emotion rolling off of Severus as he read the letter. He was mad. Probably madder than mad. She was pretty sure she was still in shock so hadn't gotten to the point of being mad yet.

Of course she was glad that her friend was back, if in fact Buffy was okay as Tara said she was. However, she wasn't sure how glad Buffy would be about being back. As sad as they all were when Buffy jumped off that tower in May, Hermione had known her friend had come to terms with her time being up. She was probably looking forward to it after over five years of being the Slayer.

"There is nothing we can do until Christmas holidays," he said finally.

She knew that. She did. She was no longer employed by the Watchers Council. She could not go traipsing off to Sunnydale anytime there was a crisis. She'd never be at Hogwarts if she did that!

"I know," she murmured. Minerva was watching them. She was sure Severus noticed it, too. "I can't believe she would try that!"

"Says the witch who brewed polyjuice potion in a toilet, not to mention all of the other dangerous things you got up to while you were a student. I don't imagine your work for the Council was all good luck charms either."

"I wasn't toying with life and death, bringing someone back. Nothing I did would have ended the world."

"Fair point," he said.

His lips twitched into more than a smirk but not quite a smile and she knew he was thinking of her polyjuice potion attempt and her time as a cat. She'd like to be mad at him for finding amusement at her expense, but she had brewed a potion she shouldn't have. She also knew that at that time he had very little to find humor in, so if his memory at seeing her as a cat provided that for him. Well, she wouldn't get mad at him for it. Besides, she had the memory of solving his riddle and setting his robes on fire to call upon if she wanted to!

"We can go together and assess the situation."

"Thank you," she said.

"You are welcome."

She was quiet for a while.

"I wonder when this happened."

"What?"

"Remember when more than one of us here felt as if our cores were being breached."

"I do," he said with a nod.

She knew it took someone very in tune with not just their body but their magic to notice something like that. He hadn't felt anything, likely because even post-war he still occluded. He didn't do it as severely as during the war, but he still felt it was necessary. She hoped to see the day when he no longer felt the need. She had no doubt he would have felt what she and a few others had otherwise.

It felt like someone was trying to dig that piece that made her a witch out of her. It had been very unsettling because until that moment she never realized her magic or what made her magical even had a feeling. It had only happened once and no one that she knew of suffered any ill effects from the feeling. Of course she hadn't asked anyone outside of Hogwarts so she only had a very small sampling.

"It's possible. I'd have to research," he said.

"I wonder if the Council knows?"

"I guess it depends on whether Mr. Giles knows and told them. I don't see her friends telling them." Hermione's lips lifted at Severus addressing him as Mr. Giles. He'd never actually met Giles so to him he was Mr. Giles despite knowing everyone just addressed him as Giles and he didn't seem to mind.

"Me neither," Hermione admitted.

"I'll make the arrangements if that's acceptable."

"Yeah, we should probably not stay with them again."

"I'd say not."

"It's going to become a thing, spending the holidays in California."

"I am not opposed to such a tradition."

"Really?" she asked.

"It was enjoyable, the weather was most pleasant, and I had unlimited time alone with you. What about that surprises you I'd be agreeable about?"

"I'm not sure. Get back to me after I've had time to fully process the fact that you said something was pleasant and agreeable!"

He chuckled softly.

"I think I'll go to London later and call her. Do you want to come with me? We could get dinner."

"That would be acceptable."

"I'll make sure Minerva knows we won't be here for dinner."

He nodded in response as he took a sip of his coffee.

They did not stop in Los Angeles first this year. They met with Tara at a restaurant she knew they could talk without risk of anyone at the house overhearing their conversation.

The spell erasing their memories was perhaps more scary to Hermione than the resurrection spell Willow had done. Hermione knew first hand by the fact that four years later and she still hadn't found a way to return her parents' memories that they could be tricky things.

Yes, she'd done it herself, but they were in danger. She'd thought about it and researched for weeks about it, knowing they would likely be targeted at some point. (Why it took Voldemort as long as it did to do so, she wasn't sure.) Willow it sounded like just didn't want Tara to break up with her. It was, in Hermione's mind, not much different than holding someone against their will.

And now instead of Tara just breaking up with her she likely ruined the friendship they'd built over the years, as well as with her other friends. 

"What will you tell them?" Tara asked as they were about to leave.

Hermione understood what she was asking. She didn't want Willow to know she'd contacted the other witch with her concerns.

"I'll tell them I heard it through someone at the Council. I'm still in touch with Lydia now and again as well as a few I met through my work. Unfortunately, at the school I don't have access to the internet or even my cell phone, so unless I know to expect something Lydia and the others know it may be months before I check messages."

She nodded then and Hermione gave her a hug.

"You absolutely did the right thing contacting me, Tara. Severus knows people who can help her. People who know how tempting dark magic can be."

"Thank you," she said.

"You're welcome. I'll let you know as soon as I know anything. She may not be ready."

"It can be quite heady," Severus said.

Hermione knew it bothered him that he knew this firsthand. There were some similarities between Willow and Severus when Hermione thought about it. Loners, someone people enjoyed picking on in school, wicked smart, and a stifling home. She didn't get the impression Willow had been abused, but her parents were not very accommodating or loving either.

"If she's not ready to hear that what she's doing is violating what magic is supposed to be then there is little I can do for her."

"I know. I just worry for her. Well, for everyone. You know about the spell she cast after she and Oz broke up."

"Yes," Hermione said.

She wasn't able to stop the smile that the thought of the spell brought. It wasn't funny, of course, but Xander as a demon magnet and Buffy and Spike engaged was somewhat amusing.

"And that's another thing, if you didn't know. Spike's in love with Buffy."

"We got that impression when we were here last, yes."

"I thought using the Buffy bot to make vampires and stuff think Buffy was still around was smart thinking on Willow's part. Mr. Summers never has contacted us that I know of. Now though I'm not so sure she did it because it was the right thing to do so much as she wanted to see if she could do it."

"I'm sorry to hear about their dad. Severus and I can go past his last known address and see if we can find anything when we're done here. He should know Joyce died if nothing else."

"I agree. I've never met him," Tara said. "That would be nice if you did that. I assume Willow looked, but I guess I'm not sure."

"I get it. We'll do it just to make sure."

"Buffy's lucky to have met you. I guess we all are in a way, I know you've helped her more than once."

"I'm lucky to have met her, too."

"I hope that seeing you helps cheer her up."

"Me, too." Hermione sure hoped it would.

"Thanks for listening today and for taking my letter seriously enough that you came."

"You absolutely did the right thing, Tara."

"Thank you. Let me know if you need anything else."

"Take care." Hermione said.

"You, too."

"Thoughts," Hermione prompted once Tara was gone and they were headed in the direction of the house on Revello Drive. Since no one was expecting them they didn't think apparating into the yard would be wise.

"I think that as long as she's gotten away with these things. These dabblings into dark magic without repercussions, it will be difficult to convince her of the error of her ways. Even the spell she did to return Angel's soul. I've researched it based on the information I had, what you'd been given. That could have gone horribly wrong. She was not well physically and those anchoring her were inexperienced and scared. They were under immense pressure. She was channeling ancient magics of a select group of very proud and private people. Interlopers don't always get accepted."

"Right," Hermione said.

"Tara leaving her is probably the first truly negative response she's gotten."

"Well all we can do is tell Buffy we're only an owl or email away."

Hermione rang the doorbell when they'd arrived and she smiled widely when Buffy answered the door. She'd thought for sure, deep down, that Tara was mistaken but clearly not.

"Hermione?" Buffy said and Hermione saw the sadness in the Slayer's eyes be temporarily replaced with happiness. It was fleeting, but she'd seen it. She was glad to see her. That kind of relieved her.

Despite what Tara had said in her letter, when there were no messages left for her between receiving it and coming here Hermione had wondered if her not contacting her herself meant she didn't want to. She may have tried, too, but not left a message. How would you leave a voicemail about that? Hermione would have thought it was a crank call for sure!

"I'm sorry it took so long to come. I haven't checked my messages since before October I think until we went home for the holidays. I would have been here sooner otherwise."

"No reason to apologize," she said, stepping outside to hug her. Hermione closed her eyes, unable to believe that she was truly hugging her friend who'd been dead until a couple months ago.

She'd mourned her! She'd worried what would happen to Dawn.

No question by her grip while they hugged that she was at full Slayer strength.

"Hello Severus," Buffy said when they finally drew apart. Hermione knew the tears she saw in Buffy's eyes were probably about the same amount, and the same reason, as the ones Buffy saw in Hermione's.

"Buffy," Severus said simply. "Very glad to have you with us again."

"I hear we share that experience," she quipped.

"I was brought back from death's door. I was not quite in the same situation you were."

"Did you hate it?"

"Being alive?" he asked. "After I assumed I'd die?"

"Yes," she said.

"I can admit I was angry at first. Angry I don't think cut it as far as my feelings on the subject. I lamented in my sick bed constantly. I couldn't talk. I was a professor, or headmaster, how was I to do that without a voice? I hurt everywhere from that snake's poison. Why couldn't they have just let me die? I'd fulfilled my duties. I did more than what was originally asked of me even. The only positive, moment of calmness I felt was when this one sat by my bed. She was the only one who didn't grovel and beg. For certain she fussed and fidgeted to ensure I was comfortable, but it was no more than I'd seen her do for her friends when they were in the infirmary. She just treated me as she would treat anyone. And then she was gone after a month or so," he shrugged.

"How long did it take?"

"Well, it was sometime during Hermione's initial communications with me." He sighed. "Strange to imagine two years ago and receiving that first missive from her seems like eons ago and yet like yesterday at the same time. It took time. A while. I wasn't conscious of the change. It just happened that one day I was no longer wondering why I'd survived and instead realizing it was time to make something of the fact that I did. I'm sorry I can't be more specific than that."

She shrugged and sighed. "I just. I know they meant well. They thought," she shook her head. Hermione saw sadness in her eyes. "They assumed I was in a hell dimension."

Hermione gasped.

She couldn't help it.

Was that how Willow was trying to justify what she'd done?

Claiming that she was potentially saving Buffy from centuries of torture? She supposed it wasn't completely out of the realm of possibilities, but seemed kind of far fetched. Her body had been here for them to bury. That didn't point to her having traveled via a portal.

"Who's here, Buffy," Dawn said from behind her. "Oh, hey, wow! It's Hermione and Severus. Hi!"

"How are you, Dawn?" Hermione asked.

"Pretty good," she said, eyes darting to Buffy for a second. She hugged Hermione then. Hermione wouldn't say they were close or even really friends, but Dawn did know how to get a hold of her if she needed anything and she knew Tara would help her with an owl if she wanted to communicate with her that way as a last resort.

"Good."

"Did you guys want to come in," Buffy asked.

"Sure if you're sure you don't mind."

"Mind! Not at all. I'm glad you're here."

They went inside. Xander seemed fine with their being there. Anya seemed rather indifferent, but Hermione got the impression that was just how the former vengeance demon was. She hadn't gotten to know her very well, but from what Buffy had said no one but Xander really did. Willow, however, did not look pleased. She tried to hide it but did not succeed too well.

The evening was pretty uncomfortable to say the least. Hermione couldn't admit she knew about the memory spell because Lydia wouldn't know about it. None of them mentioned it either. Eventually, they left when Buffy announced she was going to patrol.

"I'm sorry that was super uncomfortable," Buffy said as they walked.

"You don't have to apologize. We just appeared at your door." She grabbed Buffy's forearm gently and stopped walking. "If you need anything, Buffy please let me know. Even if it's just research. I may not work for the Watchers Council anymore but I'm still your friend so I will do what I can to ensure you don't die again before you're actually supposed to like eighty years from now. Hogwarts library and the Ministry archives are still accessible to me. I will try to check my messages every couple of days. I truly had no idea or I wouldn't have gone months."

"I'm sorry I didn't think to call you. I should have. You've been a good friend. Dawn says you kept in touch with her, checked up on her. I appreciate that. My dad didn't. I know she does, too. Appreciates it, I mean. I just, I'm still not sure I'm convinced I'm actually back and this isn't a dream of some sort. Sunnydale is a disaster so I didn't have much time to think beyond taking care of business. Things are improving, but now. Well, I don't know what to do. Mom's medical bills pretty much wiped out any insurance money she had. I've never worked in my life. Somehow now I'm supposed to be responsible for bills and Dawn after dropping out of college to take care of Mom. And in between there I'm supposed to be the Slayer, which I might add isn't real great at keeping a regular schedule. So I don't know what job I'm going to be able to find. Oh, sorry I took a three-hour lunch, Mr. Smith, there was a vampire nest down in the sewers that I needed to take care of. You can imagine how well that will go over."

She sighed and she looked so overwhelmed. Hermione hated seeing that look in her friend's eyes. So not only did she have to deal with being alive again and being the Slayer. She had to worry about money issues. Hermione couldn't say she understood from a personal standpoint, but she knew that financial problems were stressful and depressing. Buffy had a sister to worry about and a house to keep up. She was just twenty years old and now had a house and all the things that went with it.

"It's not your concern."

"Of course it is, Buffy. That's what friends do. Severus and I will both see if there's anything we can think of to help you. And please don't worry about how or when I found out. I know you would have gotten to me when you were in the right place. It's not exactly a phone call I would have believed. And being at Hogwarts, what kind of message were you going to leave? A letter would have been just as suspect. You know? I thought of that, really. We're good. I promise. I am not a thing you need to have in your worrying about box."

Buffy smiled wryly at that. She did understand. Thinking about it now, Hermione would have likely thought it was a joke or a demon coming after her for helping her over the years. And there had been plenty of those, though other than Glory Hermione's work was behind the scenes!

"Thank you. I guess I don't understand it all. Everything. Why was I chosen to be the Slayer? I mean, if you'd met me seven years ago. God, I was as shallow and vapid as they came. What about me made whoever or whatever decides such things "she'd make a good slayer one day"? Why I was given Dawn to begin with or why she's still here despite Glory being defeated. Shouldn't she be good? I mean, I'm glad she's here. Don't get me wrong. I love her as if she really is my sister. She looks at me now, though, as if she's afraid I'm going to disappear again."

"I saw that look," Severus said with a knowing nod.

"Are you going then?" Buffy asked.

"For now. We have some things we need to do before the new term starts. It was kind of a rushed trip when we found out. I will be back, though, Buffy. Now that I know you're here."

"Thank you."

They walked with her through a couple of the cemeteries she patrolled in, hugging goodbye when it was time for them to return to their hotel room.

"I don't know what I can do for her," Hermione said, feeling defeated. She always knew what to do with Harry. Why couldn't she figure out what to do with this? Certainly this wasn't more complicated than Voldemort!

"She has had sex with Spike."

"Get out of here, Severus," she said. Then she saw he was truly serious. "Really?"

"I cannot say it's more than sex for sex's sake but I saw it. I didn't mean to," he said quickly. "I wouldn't use legilimency on someone like her without permission first. It was on her porch when we were talking. She pushed the image to me, unintentionally I'm sure."

"Wow."

"I am glad that you didn't see it," he murmured and there was a bit of a blush on his cheeks. Severus blushing! Who knew?

"Why?"

"Vampire and Slayer. They have stamina and strength like crazy."

She giggled, moving to straddle his lap. How cute! He didn't think he'd measure up! "Was it a long shag?"

"I don't know! I only caught a glimpse and I put my walls up to avoid seeing more. I just know there was a destroyed house around them. And they were obviously enjoying one another."

"She did tell me that she always felt as if she couldn't truly let go with Riley in bed. That she'd hurt him or he'd think she was a freak."

"I can imagine having that amount of strength would be daunting."

She leaned in and kissed him, lingering a bit as she shifted against him in his lap.

"Did you see her naked?"

"Hermione! Really this is what concerns you?"

"Well, yes. She's gorgeous and strong and probably has a body that is …"

"Nowhere near yours. She is an attractive and obviously fit woman. I would not say otherwise, you'd know I was lying. However she is not my woman. You are. I did not see her naked. She was clothed. At least that is what it appeared."

"And again wow."

"I do not get the impression anyone else knows. I think she was wondering if I'd done 'something stupid' when I found myself alive."

"Did you?"

He scoffed, eyeing her warily. Was that a question she shouldn't have asked? She'd run away after the war had ended. She wouldn't have blamed him or held anything against him that he'd done before that Christmas at his house at any rate.

"I will not lay claim to being untouched before you. I told you that I was not after our first time, but I'm pretty sure you were still in primary school the last time I engaged in such activities prior to you. I did not enjoy sex for sex's sake. It felt … opposite of the supposed point of it to me. Instead of making me feel close to someone and wanted, it made me feel quite unwanted and further away. On the outside looking in, you know? I felt more uncomfortable at exposing myself so completely to someone than satisfied. I won't say that I tried more than a few times. I told you I'd been left with the impression that I was not adept in the ways of pleasing a woman. Honestly, we exceeded my experience our first weekend at your flat. I also realized that it would be an excellent way for someone, from either side, to get rid of me. It was the same reason I was very careful about alcoholic consumption."

"You feel close and wanted now? And you know that you are adept at pleasing me?"

"I do," he admitted. He shed their clothes for them wandlessly before sliding his hands to her waist and hips, shifting her over and onto him. "Every single time," he murmured, closing his eyes as her core sheathed over him.

"Outstanding," she whispered before kissing him.

Story ©Susan Matthews/APCKRFAN/PhantomRoses.com