Happy Holidays Severus!

It's been a busy few weeks since our face to face visit. I imagine you thought you were finally rid of me!

Did you know the lore regarding The Gentlemen is true? How creepy is that?

In addition to voice and heart stealing demons I also had the pleasure of helping Giles research a Native American tribe's history and whether the diseases Xander got could have permanent side effects or repercussions. Then there was research into whether or not there would be any lingering effects of an "I will it so" spell on either the spell caster or those she inflicted her will on.

Giles was very concerned about the last part as Buffy was one of the victims and she'd been engaged to that chipped vampire I've mentioned, Spike. Giles was blind through most of the evening as a result of Willow's spell but he said the sound of them kissing was nauseating enough. (Having lived through having to both see and hear Ron and Lavender kissing I can empathize with him immensely.)

Considering they're enemies that would be … odd. He's chipped, yes. That doesn't mean there's anything stopping him from going off and surrounding himself with an army of minions to wreak havoc on Sunnydale. He does seem to appreciate the sanctuary they're offering him. He evidently helped Buffy get to Angel during the Acathla events, but those reasons were selfish. He did it in exchange for him and Drusilla being able to flee. (And then they ended up splitting up anyway!) I think I told you that, but can't remember. Sorry if I'm repetitive, it's hard to keep track!

Anyway, we'll see how long his staying out of trouble lasts!

I also had to portkey to Argentina. There was some artifact that was found that they want me to research but for whatever reason it couldn't be photographed. So I had to go see, and sketch, it in person. And now I'm trying to find out what this petrified piece of ancient wood looking thing means.

Why does everything have to mean something? Why can't an old piece of wood be just that?

Never a dull moment anyway and it keeps me useful and relevant, which despite our conversation I want for now. I do realize the time may come that I may not anymore, but I'm not there yet. In many ways.

I did not make it to the magical community near Brazil unfortunately. This is evidently something serious as I had pretty strict time restraints put on me this trip. I've been curious to go. I have to imagine magic along the Amazon has to be … well, magical! Have you been?

I found these books at a local store. I don't know if it's something that interests you and I realize they're aimed toward younger audiences but you can't use a magical whiteboard out among muggles.

Then maybe you don't go out enough to make it a concern of yours. I guess I didn't ask, but I presume you must on occasion.

If I've offended you, I apologize in advance. That isn't my intent, but I hate to see someone as intelligent as you struggling to communicate. (I bought two copies of each and plan to study my copies. Perhaps once you're in a position to and you feel like practicing we can.)

I never did ask you how your summer was? I realize now that our conversation was rather one-sided and I feel bad, and rather selfish, for that.

Did you get some gardening in? How was the salsa? I admit I've never had salsa with avocados in it, but imagine that would be good. I guess I was so happy to be able to talk to someone that I didn't even think of it.

Again I apologize, that was very selfish of me and I will endeavor to do better next time we meet.

I will close for now. I hope you have a Happy Christmas and that 2000 begins calmly and quietly. Christmas will be just me I think. There may be some other employees like me who are alone so perhaps I'll bump into them in the elevator or something.

I've been invited to spend New Year's with Buffy and her friends, and think I might actually join them. If you were interested in getting away from the Scottish winter for a few days I'd suggest you could come along. Another time with better planning, perhaps.

Be well, Severus!

Fondly,

Hermione

He eyed the box the letter came with. There were two books on sign language. He snorted softly at the gesture. Of course she bought him books.

And yet, what would it hurt? It had been so long since he'd actually studied something that maybe this would be good for him. He wasn't sure why none of his healers had thought of this remedy to his speaking problem, other than obviously the person he was speaking to would have to be able to understand what he was signing. He couldn't expect the entirety of Hogwarts' staff and student body to learn sign language.

Also with the box was a rather extravagant canister of cocoa powder. He wasn't sure how she knew that he liked to imbibe in some hot chocolate during the holidays.

He read through her letter again and thought about what it must be like to be twenty and free to portkey to Sunnydale, California (or anywhere) on a whim. He tried to ignore the odd yet warm feeling that swept through him upon the first reading of the letter. She'd wanted to include him in her trip.

Surely she was just being nice. It was just a throw away comment.

And yet. She was not corresponding with anyone else that he was aware of. He was sure if Potter or Weasley had heard from her the Quibbler would report on that. Neither would know to keep their mouths shut regardless of her wishes to continue her absence from the magical world for now.

Beatrice hooted at him. She didn't always leave him right away but she clearly hadn't been directed to wait for a response. He realized that Hermione was likely used to more festive holidays than sitting in a flat alone.

He glanced at the sign language books and the cocoa powder, sighing softly. He stood then and walked to his desk where he pulled a piece of parchment out.

He hoped this wasn't a mistake.

Dear Hermione,

First, I assure you that I am not insulted in the least. I appreciate your thoughtfulness. In truth, no one else has thought of helping me communicate other than the whiteboard.

If you are feeling like not being alone for Christmas you may join me at my home on Spinners End, Cokeworth. I will put you to work assisting me with the cooking. I am no less taxing when it comes to chopping mushrooms and onions than I was in my classroom so be forewarned! You may, if you wish, come tomorrow, Christmas Eve and use my guest room. I won't deny not spending Christmas alone for a change does have a nice ring to it.

Regards,

Severus

He sent Beatrice on her way before he could change his mind about sending the letter. He returned to his sofa and started paging through one of the books she'd sent him. A small piece of paper slipped out from between its pages as he did so, indicating the books had been ordered for her. So she had not seen them. She'd gone out of her way to inquire about and order them.

For him.

What an intriguing way to communicate!

Hermione stood down the street from his home certain that this was going to be a bad idea. She practically squealed with delight when she received his letter. She had not been fishing for an invitation at all with her comments about Christmas. She was perfectly prepared to spend it alone as she did last year.

He'd gone out of his comfort zone, though, and invited her to join him.

That had to mean he'd enjoyed their conversation in his rooms as much as she had. She, in fact, had a hard time getting to sleep that night from the sheer giddiness that she'd spent hours talking with Severus Snape and he hadn't cursed, hexed, or insulted her in any fashion. He, in fact, had been … kind and gentlemanly.

So here she was, standing down the street from his home. A home she knew he had grown up in and was not overly fond of.

Worst case? She would go home after Christmas Eve dinner because they didn't get along for whatever reason.

Best case? She had a nice Christmas weekend with someone she was coming to think of as a friend.

More than that?

She hated thinking like that because she wasn't sure how feeling that way for him would possibly end well, but she could admit it.

Something had … shifted when she'd sat with him at St. Mungo's. He'd started out unpleasant, a mood he could convey very easily despite not being able to speak. As the hours turned into days turned into weeks he'd stopped tuning her out and actually listened while she read to him from journals and what not. He couldn't talk back, but he could nod and she could see his pupils dilate when she hit a topic he felt passionate about that they shared a similar viewpoint on.

And now?

He listened to her but it was more than that.

He understood.

She didn't have to dumb anything down or explain this or that. He knew. Even though what she was doing wasn't anything taught about at Hogwarts he knew enough to get it.

He'd obviously read some of the very same books she had to have the knowledge of slayers and things like The Gentlemen.

That to Hermione was immensely appealing and something she'd never experienced before.

Who was she kidding. Immensely appealing was underselling it a ton. She loved it!

She walked the rest of the way to his home, knocking lightly when she arrived. She was surprised to see a fresh wreath complete with a red ribbon on the door. None of the other homes had decorations so it stood out. And seemed rather unlike her former potions professor. It made her smile a bit as she tugged on her satchel nervously.

She truly hoped this wasn't a mistake or that he hadn't truly meant the invitation. That hadn't occurred to her until just now.

He opened the door and seemed genuinely pleased to see her. That was a good sign and helped ease her nerves at least a little bit.

"Hermione," he whispered, stepping aside so she could go inside.

"It's nice to see you, Severus."

"Likewise," he said.

"Happy Christmas Eve," she said.

"And to you," he said, gesturing to her coat.

"Oh, yes, please," she said, setting her satchel down so he could slide her coat off for her and hang it in a closet by the door. Another one of those gentlemanly things like walking her to the gates of Hogwarts that she was accustomed to her father doing for her mother but hadn't experienced herself.

He summoned the white board.

DID YOU DECIDE NOT TO STAY?

"No," she said. "I have everything I need." She picked her satchel up and patted it.

UNDETECTABLE EXTENSION CHARM?

"Yes. I had one on a bag while Harry, Ronald, and I were searching for those cursed objects. It was most convenient. I keep a running inventory of things I take from it that need to be replaced so it stays relatively stocked. Since I go to muggle areas now I keep muggle items in there, too. I actually use those more than magical potions these days."

GOOD FOR WHEN YOU'RE NEVER SURE YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GET UP AND GO.

"Exactly."

I'LL SHOW YOU TO YOUR ROOM. He looked nervous and she dipped her head a bit, wondering if he would want her to see that he was. She doubted he would. He never appeared anything but quite sure of himself. It was part of the thing that intimidated people when it came to him. No doubt those were his intentions.

"It can wait, Severus. I don't have anything but the bag and, no offense to you, but I don't let it out of my sight."

VERY WELL. I WOULD PROBABLY SCOLD YOU IF YOU DID OTHERWISE.

"Alistor would be proud," she said with a wry smile.

"Indeed," he whispered. He gestured to the sofa then and she took a seat.

"Nervous?" she asked. "Because I am. So, if you're not…"

IT IS MORE THAN A LITTLE UNSETTLING TO WELCOME SOMEONE INTO MY HOME. IT'S NOT SOMETHING I DO OFTEN. WHO AM I KIDDING? EVER. CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK? I HAVE TEA AND COCOA THANKS TO YOU, OF COURSE, OR SOMETHING STRONGER?

"Trying to get me drunk, Severus?"

He snorted. "No," he whispered. I HAVE SOME WINE THAT I WAS GOING TO SERVE WITH DINNER BUT I MAY HAVE GONE OVERBOARD WITH BUYING IT BECAUSE I DON'T USUALLY HAVE COMPANY AND WASN'T SURE HOW MUCH WOULD BE SUFFICIENT.

"So you have extra wine? I'll take some off your hands, sure," she said.

He nodded and went through a door she presumed led to his kitchen. She stood then and took in the living room. It was much nicer than she'd expected. She wasn't sure why, but she'd gotten the impression Severus didn't like the home he'd grown up in much. The paint and furnishings looked pretty new, the hardwood floor had obviously been refurbished recently, and the windows were clean with blinds that looked new.

Interesting.

She made her way to the bookcases and let her fingers dance along the shelf at eye level as she perused the titles. She didn't touch any of the actual books. She knew better than to do that in his home. He likely had books that could hurt someone if they weren't him. She doubted he'd keep them in his living room where anyone could touch them even inadvertently, but she knew better than to risk it. She didn't get surprised when he presented her with a glass of wine.

"Thank you," she said, taking it and sipping it immediately. "Oh, that's good."

He bowed his head slightly. She extended the glass to him, noticing he hadn't brought one for himself. He took it from her, sipping some with a nod.

"It looks as if you've been busy since the war," she said, gesturing to the living room.

He summoned the whiteboard. YES, I FOUND MYSELF UNEXPECTEDLY ALIVE AND REALIZED THAT LIVING IN SQUALOR NO LONGER HELD THE APPEAL IT ONCE DID. I OWN THE HOME AND WELL, IT SERVES MY PURPOSES AND NEEDS SUFFICIENTLY.

"Being too far away for anyone to just stop by unexpectedly?"

EXACTLY. AND IT'S SPACIOUS ENOUGH FOR ME. I REALLY DON'T REQUIRE MORE. BUT YES BEING FAR FROM OTHERS IS A HUGE ADVANTAGE.

She gave a soft laugh. That didn't surprise her. The fact that he'd admitted it did a bit, though. "Yet you invited me here."

I REALIZED THAT YOU ARE NOT USED TO CHRISTMAS ALONE. YOU HAD YOUR PARENTS AND THE WEASLEYS. LAST YEAR I SUSPECT YOU WERE STILL … ADJUSTING AND WELL WE HADN'T BEEN IN COMMUNICATION AT THAT POINT FOR ME TO EVEN CONSIDER EXTENDING THE INVITATION TO YOU. I THOUGHT IT SILLY FOR BOTH OF US TO BE ALONE WHEN I PLANNED ON COOKING A MEAL FOR MYSELF.

"Well, thank you."

"You're welcome," he said.

"And you're right, I was a little busy last Christmas to think much about it. Buffy was dealing with the First Evil, which was trying to get Angel to lose his soul again." She blushed deeply at this, realizing she had told Severus exactly how Angel had lost his soul the first time. Nothing to be embarrassed about, except there was a difference to this meeting today than there had been in November so even the implication of sex seemed … Odd. He was regarding her with his keen observational skills so likely he knew exactly what had her embarrassed and what she was thinking right this moment. "Anyway. Yes. Well. It was a bit chaotic. I mean I thought about it, of course, wondered what my parents were doing, but I had plenty of work. And the Council did a nice meal for those of us who were working through the holiday."

I KNOW THIS PHENOMENON OF KEEPING BUSY TO KEEP FROM THINKING OF THINGS I DON'T WISH TO THINK ABOUT QUITE WELL.

She nodded, grateful that he didn't push or ask for further explanation. He was exactly right. She didn't want to think about past Christmases or the fact she was alone when she didn't have to be. She just wanted to work and help her friend find answers to her problem.

"Can I help? With dinner, I mean?"

DO YOU KNOW HOW?

"Will I give Molly competition? No, but if you give me a task I can do it."

"Very well then," he said, gesturing for her to follow him into the kitchen.

As it turned out he didn't need any help for tonight's meal, so she talked while he worked. She told him about Buffy's encounter with a second werewolf, which resulted in her best friend Willow getting her heart broken. That led to Willow being so distraught that she cast an I will it so spell that she'd mentioned in one of her letters to him. She told him about her research on the Gem of Amara and the fact that Angel destroyed it.

"Good," Severus had said. Hermione couldn't help but agree with him. If that had fallen into the wrong vampire's hands. That would have been a disaster. Angel without his soul, knowing where he'd hidden it would have been a disaster. Hopefully, he wouldn't be losing his soul anytime soon, but memories of the First Evil trying to convince him to weren't that distant for her to say never again.

She told him more about Buffy and Angel, her experience with Parker, and the guy that she seemed to be interested in now. Who happened to be part of the military group they'd been trying to find out information on since the beginning of her school year.

The Watchers Council did employ computer hackers, but evidently not good enough to hack into the United States Defense system because no one knew that The Initiative existed. That meant that no one associated with the Slayer knew why it existed, and Severus seemed to agree with Hermione that that was most concerning.

What could the United States military want with vampires and demons?

What could the United States military want with chipped vampires and demons?

She, and others, were of course working on that, but it wasn't easy to determine when the information they wanted was so protected.

It wasn't a traditional Christmas Eve dinner by any means, but neither seemed to care. He grilled steaks (claiming his neighbors never noticed anything he did) and with them they had baked potatoes, vegetables, bread, and a salad. It was simple, but he'd clearly gone to some effort because looking at his refrigerator told her that he didn't cook like this every day.

After dinner they retired to his sitting room where he switched on the television and they found a Christmas movie to watch. He poured them each more wine and joined her on the couch.

"Have you looked through the books I sent you at all?" she asked.

YES, he signed.

Her eyes brightened.

IT'S INTERESTING AND I LOOK FORWARD TO LEARNING MORE, the whiteboard wrote.

"I'm so glad."

THANK YOU, he signed.

"You're welcome," she said, signing it as well.

HERMIONE came on the whiteboard a while later.

"Yes?"

YOU HAVE SPOKEN OF YOUR FRIENDSHIP WITH BUFFY AND GETTING ALONG WITH HER FRIENDS, BUT YOU SPEAK OF NO ONE CLOSE TO YOU.

"There isn't really anyone," she said with a shrug.

She turned to look at him, gathering a leg under her as she shifted on the couch. How to even say it. It went back to their conversation in November, though. She just wasn't sure anymore about what she was doing, where she was currently. And she hated that feeling.

"I'm not even sure who I can trust at work so I do my job and am friendly but I wouldn't call anyone a friend. Lydia is nice, but I'm not sure…"

HOW DEEPLY SHE'S IN.

"Exactly."

I UNDERSTAND. YOUR FRIENDS, YOU HAVE THEM: POTTER, BOTH WEASLEYS, LONGBOTTOM, LOVEGOOD. THEY WOULD ALL WELCOME YOU BACK.

"I'm not ready, Severus. I know it's not their fault, but do you know how horrible I felt when they basically told me to forget about my parents? Threaten me with prison? Thank you for saving the world oh and by the way to add insult to injury despite the fact we know you're more than prepared we're going to make you sit through another year of school in order to be able to sit and get your NEWT scores. Now shut up about anything else and be a good witch and become a cog at the Ministry."

He chortled with a nod.

"Of course I'm a cog for someone else anyway."

BUT YOU ARE LEARNING NEW THINGS, HERMIONE. THIS IS KNOWLEDGE YOU CAN USE. AS YOUR SUPERIOR HAS SAID WHEN YOU DO LEAVE, ASSUMING YOU DO SO ON GOOD TERMS YOU WILL HAVE AN INTENSE, FAST PACED RESEARCHING POSITION ON YOUR CV. THERE ARE SOME IN THE WIZARDING WORLD WHO WOULD BE VERY JEALOUS OF WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

"Thank you."

AND YOU ARE HELPING KEEP THAT YOUNG WOMAN ALIVE. ARE YOU REALLY PLANNING ON SPENDING NEW YEAR'S WITH HER?

"I thought about it. I have nothing else to do, and it seems rather pathetic to sit in my flat alone at the age of twenty."

"Hmm," he said.

"I do like her. When I first met her," she shrugged. "We'd been through similar situations, not the same I realize, but enough that we both felt similarly used."

"I understand," he said.

"She went back, though, I have not. I'm not sure what that says."

SHE HAS A CALLING. A BIRTHRIGHT.

"I don't?"

NOT IN THE SAME WAY, NO. BEING A WITCH IS WHO YOU ARE, OF COURSE, BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU HAVE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE IN THE MAGICAL WORLD. FROM WHAT I GATHER FROM WHAT YOU HAVE TOLD ME AND WHAT I HAVE READ ABOUT SLAYERS OVER THE YEARS THERE WAS NO CHOICE FOR HER. NOT REALLY.

"I want to."

DO YOU?

"Yes," she said.

WHY DID YOU WRITE ME?

She shrugged. How to explain it? She wasn't truly sure she knew.

"Buffy had called me, panicked because Angel was dying. She mentioned poison and my mind immediately went to you. I knew if there was anyone in the world who knew a cure or something to slow its process it would be you."

She saw … not surprise exactly but something more like appreciation in his eyes at that statement.

I AM SORRY I COULD NOT LIVE UP TO THAT EXPECTATION.

"But you tried, Severus," she said, reaching to touch his wrist. "You at least tried. That was more than the Council did. I mean, I get it. Vampire bad. He was without his soul for over a hundred years and did some horrible, despicable things. I'm not denying that. I've read up on him, and he was bad, Severus. He had his soul for quite a while before meeting Buffy and didn't do much, but he didn't say ‘to hell with it, who cares if I have a soul I'm going to rape and murder anyway'. He stopped, left the vampires he'd been with for years. One of whom was the one who turned him and who he eventually killed for Buffy, just by the way. And from what I heard he helped Buffy a lot those first couple of years. She would have died if he hadn't helped them. That counted for nothing?"

She shrugged.

He smiled then, eyes watching her and she realized that she still had her hand on his wrist. She went to move it but somehow that didn't happen the way she planned it. She ended up with her hand in his instead. She had no idea who did what or who did it first. It didn't really matter. Her heart gave a quick gallup at the idea of holding Severus Snape's hand.

That he wanted to hold her hand.

"Okay?" he whispered.

"Okay," she said with a nod.

TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR PARENTS. WHAT EXACTLY YOU DID AND WHEN.

She told him everything that she could remember from that July day in 1997 when she removed her parents memories. He listened, taking no notes but Hermione knew that he was committing it to memory. Was he going to research? Was he going to try to help her? Her heart gave another quick gallup at that idea. She wanted to do more than hold his hand, but she refrained.

This.

This was nice.

And he seemed to think the same thing.

She was pretty sure she wouldn't be going home tonight, and she was even more sure that she was going to dread having to leave tomorrow when the day was done.

Story ©Susan Matthews/APCKRFAN/PhantomRoses.com