August 2003

She hadn't heard from him for over five years.

Nothing.

Not an owl or a regular letter.

Not a phone call (not that she had a phone number anymore for him to call).

No shared thoughts.

The feelings through the mark were there, but it wasn't the same. It wasn't … communication.

At least she knew he was alive and well.

And he did seem well, judging by the feelings she got from the mark.

The year before the final battle had not been easy for anyone, but she knew it was especially unpleasant for Severus. Some viewed him as having been safely ensconced within Hogwarts' walls. True to a point, sure. The fact that someone who had experienced physical torment while a student there had to stand by as headmaster and allow … unthinkable things to go on she knew hadn't been easy for him.

Before Bill and Fleur's wedding when he seemed to figure out that the three of them would not be at Hogwarts in the fall they'd had one last conversation. He'd somehow managed to close himself off completely to her after it. He'd warned her that he was going to attempt it, so she wasn't taken by surprise.

It still felt … wrong.

For years she'd shared a magical connection with someone and gotten to know him in ways she wagered no one else ever had. That was gone. The feelings through the mark were even less.

She'd sat with him while he convalesced after the war, but eventually he'd gone home and she hadn't been invited to visit. She didn't know where exactly he lived other than Cokeworth. She could have found him she imagined, but she wasn't going to invade his rightfully earned privacy. If he'd wanted her to visit he would have given her the information. He'd told her he didn't plan on staying there. That he would contact her again once he was settled.

Out of sight, out of mind.

She knew he was okay because she … felt that was true.

The night of the final battle she'd known why he'd been so pissed off at Harry after going to the Department of Mysteries the night Sirius died.

There was one huge difference.

Severus Snape knew life prior to their marks being active.

She did not.

She just knew that day of what was now called the final battle, there'd all of the sudden been a void, a hole, inside of her that she hadn't even been aware of. It had brought her to her knees for a moment because she didn't know how to function without that … piece there.

She had no idea how dependent upon him, that connection, she'd become.

He had survived, of course, but where he'd had an hour or so of their connection being silent / dormant. She'd had days. She had tried legilimens as he'd done with her, but it hadn't worked. She wasn't as accomplished at the art as he was. At least that was what she told herself when she wondered if that meant he was never going to wake up and come back. She knew he wanted, contented himself, to die.

She'd hoped she, the possibility of something, would give him an incentive to live.

Live he had. She'd sat with him for weeks while he recovered. Madam Pomfrey told the St. Mungo's staff she was not to be asked to leave his side.

It was good to have powerful friends.

He'd wanted to leave.

She understood why. Why Hogwarts and probably wizarding Britain as a whole would not be appealing to him. She was literally the only one who'd believed in him. Well, and Madam Pomfrey as it turned out. She'd tried to defend him, as he said though not as hard as she would have liked to, but no one would listen. Especially when he'd killed the headmaster. And then becoming the headmaster himself. Heads had spun at the very idea of "the traitor" occupying that office.

She wasn't going to be that witch that became obsessive. He'd said they were friends. Maybe he viewed friendship differently than she did. Maybe now that the war was over a friend nineteen years younger than him wasn't what he wanted. She couldn't imagine going five years without talking to Harry, Ron, Neville, Ginny, or Luna.

She went back to the time in her fifth year when she hadn't answered him. His words about not having magical children with her had hurt. Not that she wanted children right now, or any time soon. He wasn't wrong about that. Of course she didn't, but she'd read enough about soulmates and soul marks to know that it was an incredible gift.

She had tried going out on a few dates with Ronald shortly after the war's end. They'd been disastrously uncomfortable. Once school and the war were done, they just really had nothing to talk about. He was all about quidditch and getting married as soon as possible. As soon as they'd gotten that out of the way and realized they were friends. Just friends. Well, they were back to being Ronald, Harry, and Hermione. They were lucky. It could have ended very badly. Harry had tried to set her up more than a few times over the years when it was clear whatever had been between her and Ron was definitely not happening.

She'd felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. It was so frustrating!

One had been not just smart and attractive but funny and interested enough in quidditch that she knew he wasn't afraid to admit he had an interest that differed from hers. That was good, right? He wouldn't expect her to go to quidditch matches all of the time and she wouldn't expect him to sit in the library with her for hours.

Win win. Or so she thought.

And tried.

More than once.

Except she'd felt nothing. Worse than nothing. He'd kissed her good night more than once and it was worse than kissing Harry. It wasn't a brotherly thing.

It just felt wrong.

These men weren't her wizard.

They weren't him despite never more than a quick kiss to the edge of his mouth she knew with every fibre of her being that kissing him would not feel like nothing. Would not feel wrong.

She hadn't been offended that Severus wanted to go in the least. If anyone deserved some time for himself. Well, she couldn't think of anyone who deserved it more. She was rational enough to know that and want that for him.

She was busy herself. She'd sat her NEWTs and been offered more than a handful of positions. She ended up settling, for the moment, on the Committee on Experimental Charms. She took that position, hoping that it would give her access to something to help her parents. The other position she'd eyed with longing was in the Department of Magical Education. Maybe once she got her parents back? She really thought improvements could be made in the educational process. She'd like to spearhead those having experienced them recently.

She was all about getting her parents back and figuring out what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. That was her priority. The position she'd taken went to that. No one but a select few knew what she'd done. It had taken her this long to get everything together, including her mindset, to come here to actually see if she could try. She'd compiled a lot of research, lots of information she thought had potential.

Here.

Australia.

She'd seen them today for the first time in six years. It had made her feel … good and despondent at the same time.

Good because while it had taken her this long to track them down and get enough time off to actually stay for a while she saw them. She'd used portkeys on weekends when she could while she was conducting her search. They hadn't been as easy to find as she'd presumed. She had found them though and they were alive and well.

Despondent because they looked quite happy when she finally caught a glimpse of them. Happy as a childless married couple, oblivious to the fact that they had an almost twenty-four year old daughter.

Her parents were happy.

Her soulmate was evidently happy. Doing something. She didn't get much from their shared mark, but she knew he was okay. She knew there was something that made him nervous and excited on a somewhat regular basis. That bothered her. She couldn't help but think of Lily Potter and realize that she looked nothing like the other witch. She believed he wasn't in love with her. That had to mean he'd been attracted to her. Maybe their mark wasn't enough for him to overlook her appearance. She didn't think she was deficient, but he'd thought he was in love with the other witch for years.

She was in her muggle hotel room, watching a true crime TV show feeling sorry for herself because the day had been a bust. She could admit that. It was a few years old, but given she hadn't had much time for TV shows since her second or third year at Hogwarts it didn't matter much. It was new to her.

She yawned, picking through the bag of crisps to stray from the few burnt ones she'd found as the episode narrator introduced this episode's topic. She was debating about whether to approach her parents tomorrow, talk to them. Her gut was churning at the prospect of it.

It was supposed to be the job to end all jobs. Every detail planned and researched. On paper, the perfect crime if executed flawlessly. The only thing Hans Gruber hadn't counted on was off-duty New York police officer John McClane being on the scene. Tonight we're looking back on the notorious Nakatomi Plaza incident ten years later. After the break, we'll speak with Ginny Tyska, one of the survivors and Holly Gennero's secretary. Her first born son is named John because of Officer John McClane's efforts on that fateful Christmas Eve night in Los Angeles in 1988.

Hermione almost choked on the crisp she had just taken a bite out of when a picture of the primary characters in the episode were put up on the screen. She didn't know John McClane, Holly Gennero, or Theo Mathis and wouldn't recognize them today walking on the street.

Hans Gruber, though.

She knew that face.

And more importantly, she knew that the owner of that face actually did have a twin.

December 1988.

More specifically Christmas Eve 1988.

So a little less than three years before she'd started at Hogwarts. He would have been … twenty-eight. She thought she remembered him telling her that their birthday was shortly after Christmas. So, almost twenty-nine then.

Hans had shorter hair and facial hair, though she'd seen Severus scruffy a few times. Particularly the days she was in the infirmary after the Department of Mysteries and he visited her to administer her potions.

And check on her status.

She'd looked forward to those moments. She thought he had, too.

This though wasn't scruff. It was purposeful. Groomed and cared for to look meticulous. And the suit he wore in the picture they posted. He looked … good. She stood and walked up to the TV, tracing the lines of Hans Gruber's face before the picture disappeared from the screen.

God, they really were identical. She could see subtle differences from the picture, but they weren't physical differences, more mannerisms. A look in his eye, smug and confident. Yes, Severus had that look, too, but there was still an uncertainty, a shyness about him that Hans Gruber did not exude.

She pulled out the laptop she'd bought for this trip so that she'd have something to do in between looking for and spying on her parents over the next two weeks. (That sounded way too creepy even in her mind than it should. She wasn't really spying on them!)

She searched the name. He'd never told her his twin went by another name, but when she'd seen him at the muggle restaurant before her third year he'd introduced his brother as Simon. When they'd communicated, his name was Ambrosius and he'd impressed upon her to think of him as Simon.

So, if Ambrosius had changed his name. Had Hans, too? Geta she thought he'd said. He'd never mentioned Hans that she could remember. There hadn't been a reason to since he'd been dead by the time she got to Hogwarts and they'd started to form their friendship.

Doing some research she was confident that Hans Gruber was Geta Snape. He'd earned quite the reputation between 1978 as an up and comer in the criminal world and his death in 1988. And there was absolutely nothing that she could find linking him to Severus or Britain as a whole. The episode had clips of Hans speaking and she had to admit if she didn't know he'd started out British she wouldn't have a clue that he wasn't truly German.

How interesting.

After the episode finished, she got ready for bed, turning off the light before sliding under the blankets. She sighed softly, getting comfortable on the pillow. She'd been to a few hotels here in Australia that were just shy of being dives. This one, though, she splurged since she wasn't sure how long she'd spend in it.

And, well, she wanted to spoil herself, too, not knowing how emotional the visit might make her. Seeing them. Potentially speaking to them. She hadn't done anything extravagant for herself. She thought after the past twelve years she deserved two weeks of a bit of luxury.

Seeing his brother, though, made her … miss him. Which was odd because other than in his office at Hogwarts and his room at St. Mungo's it was not as if they'd spent time with one another. Still. She missed him. She missed their talks. Was he really okay? Didn't he want to talk to her? Did he miss her?

She pushed as hard as she ever had pushed. She hadn't tried before now. At first, before the war finished, she hadn't wanted to breach his occlumency shields. If she brought them down once there was no telling he'd be able to get them up again and she wouldn't risk that.

Now, though, with the war over that shouldn't be a concern. There was no risk anymore. Was there? She didn't sense he was occluding anymore, merely just not reaching out. They were both purposely avoiding their thoughts bleeding to the other. There were subtle tells that let her know he was there, reachable.

Severus?

Please don't be mad. Please don't be mad.

What is wrong?

What?

You made me drop my tea with the power of that summons. So I ask again, what is wrong?

Oh, I'm sorry. I just haven't tried I guess since you told me you were leaving. And I hadn't heard from you since you left Britain so assumed you still might be blocking.

Okay.

If you don't want to hear from me…

I did not say that, Hermione. I did not have to answer.

I know, I just. It's been five years, Severus.

Yes, well, I told you I needed time to settle. I'm still not feeling particularly settled.

I'm sorry. I was just watching a true crime thing today that made me think of you.

I'm sorry?

She laughed then, realizing how that sounded.

Muggle TV true crime documentary about the Nakatomi Plaza standoff.

Oh.

Seeing his picture, hearing his voice even though it was accented it was still … You.

She sighed. She wasn't explaining this very well. She needed him!

Was there a followup production on our younger brother?

Mm, not that I saw. Should I look for one?

I don't know. He went after Officer McClane and paid the same price for doing so Geta did.

Was he Gruber, too?

No, not legally, but he did go by Simon Gruber after Geta died from my understanding. I never understood why. I presume he wanted the notoriety of being Hans Gruber's brother then and had not prior to that time.

She could plainly hear the disdain in his tone. She knew their actions frustrated him. She imagined he still missed them.

Okay, well, I won't bother you.

You are not bothering me.

She huffed. Why was this so hard? She wanted to talk to him, but what she really wanted was what she was missing by him being gone. She wanted him. She wanted to feel more than what the mark allowed her to. She couldn't say that, though. That was very selfish when he'd been good enough to tell her he needed to sort through things. She totally understood why he needed this time. And why he thought she needed it to.

I miss you. I miss this.

I have as well.

Then why haven't you…

I did actually.

You have not! You can't lie about this, Severus. I know that you haven't. Unless you sent an owl and they went to the wrong house. I've gotten other mail at Harry's so I'm sure that's not it. That means you're lying.

Your birthday this past year I was going to see if you wanted to have dinner with me.

You were?

The Daily Prophet led me to believe you were still living at Potter's. The Quibbler apparently values your privacy and does not reveal such bits of information. You were very obviously otherwise occupied at Potter's from my position in the kitchen allowing me to overhear so I took my leave. It wasn't the first time either.

Oh, Severus. You should have said something.

And look like an even bigger fool than I already look to everyone in wizarding Britain? No, thank you.

That's still more than four years after I last saw you.

Oh, it wasn't my first attempt, just one of the few where I actually made it through the barriers and into Grimmauld Place. Potter needs to set some wards or anyone will be walking in.

I think they were down for my birthday. We usually have them up. I swear we do. Harry likes to make a big deal about my birthday since my parents can't.

Good. That he has wards up and that you had a celebration, deservingly so.

So, you just weren't going to talk to me again because I had a date?

That was not your first date. I have observed you with others. My goal in life Hermione is not to…

Don't say that. My birthday was Charles or maybe it was Gideon. I can't remember. Someone Harry assumed I'd hit it off fabulously with as he always does because he's Harry and wants to see me as happy as he is with Ginny. Since he lets me live with them for free, though I do babysit their son sometimes. You're not the only one who doesn't want to look like a fool, you know? Try explaining to anyone that you have a soulmate who doesn't want to be with you.

Tears formed in her eyes and she choked back a sob.

So, yes, I tried. That's what you seemed to want me to do! You weren't here and you weren't talking to me. You hurt me. The mark isn't enough! I know you're okay, so you knew that I was okay tonight, too.

I suppose I did, but I also presumed if you were calling me as you did with a seeming urgency there was a reason.

Well, thanks, seeing that show just made me think about you.

She sighed again, knowing she needed to go to sleep if she had any hope of seeing her parents and not seeming like a raving lunatic tomorrow. Talking to him wasn't really helping either. It was nice, but it just made her realize he wasn't here. It made her feel raw.

I should go.

Hot date?

Oh yes. Tomorrow's is a man and another woman.

Okay, now I know you're joking.

I'm not actually. I'm going to see my mum and dad tomorrow and try to strike up a conversation with them as a random stranger and not appear as if I'm a raging lunatic. The conversation part may not happen. We'll see.

You're in Australia?

Yes. Beechworth is where they ended up. It's sort of in between Melbourne and Sydney. It took me this long to find them. I'm not sure how they ended up here. Melbourne's much closer. So maybe they decided they didn't care for Melbourne and just stopped at the first town that appealed to them. I can see this town doing that.

Are they well?

I don't know. They seem to be. Happy.

May I ask where you are staying?

It's actually a really neat muggle hotel. The Hibernian. It's over one hundred years old, and I just fell in love with the pictures when I was looking for a place to stay. It's more like a little apartment, which is nice because I can make breakfast and keep food here while I'm in town. I have two weeks so eating out would get expensive. I don't know if I'll use all of it here. I may break down in tears tomorrow realizing that they, like you, are apparently better off without me and just go home or find myself in Moscow.

Moscow?

I just threw it out there. I have no desire to see Russia at the moment.

Ah. So Australia, that means it's after one in the morning there, Hermione.

I know. What time is it there?

Not one in the morning.

Evasive. All right. I can take a hint. You don't want me to know. Okay. Well, bye then. Sorry to have bothered you for something I'm sure that you think is ridiculously stupid. Maybe next time you're in London you'll actually let me know you're there.

Ah. There's that ire. I've only had it aimed at me once and then it was more silent treatment than lashing out.

Well, clearly if you wanted to share with me…

I'm in America. Michigan. A little island near Sault Ste Marie. It's about as far North as I can be without being in Canada. It snows like crazy here. You'd think after years in Scotland I'd pick Florida or Mexico. It's nine o'clock in the morning here. Thus the tea. There's a magical community right across the border in Canada. I have an apothecary there. Thus far it has suited my needs more than acceptably.

I see.

So, now you know where I am. Feel better?

Yes.

I'm not upset that you have gone on dates, Hermione. I want you to do that.

Again with the romance, Severus.

I want you to make any decision with reasonable research done.

Am I the one making a decision?

I would not force you into an … acceptance. So, yes.

So you have no preference?

I never thought I'd see the end of the war. I never imagined a life involving anyone else. Do I find myself wanting to share things with you? Wishing on a particular beautiful sunset or sunrise that you were sitting next to me observing it? Yes.

I can't think about this tonight, Severus. It's too much.

I understand. I do. I just do not want you thinking I am upset or think badly of you for doing what witches your age should be doing. I do not. I did not leave with any sort of commitment or promise from you. My not making my presence known on your birthday and the other times I have visited is on me and has nothing to do with you. It is my fear that you have made the decision to pursue other avenues and ending in my feeling even more embarrassed.

I'm not going to embarrass you.

I know you wouldn't intentionally. Minds are funny things, especially about things that are mostly driven by emotion.

No commitment or promise, huh? Should I wonder what you've been up to?

No. I can assure you there have been no dates. That was not what I needed nor wanted to do.

That is good to know. Thank you.

We are good?

We are. I did miss this, though.

I have as well. Sleep well, Witch.

Enjoy your day.

He scoffed and she laughed at that, hearing it through their connection.

At least I'm brewing on my own.

No dunderheads?

Correct.

Lucky. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same.

Pity.

Mm.

Sleep, Witch. We can talk more tomorrow if you wish to.

Promise?

As if I can truly escape you, but yes.

Hermione gave a loud and none too ladylike gasp of surprise when she got out to her rental car the next morning. Standing, rather leaning, against it was none other than Severus Snape.

She squinted a bit as she regarded him.

He looked good.

The five years had obviously been good to him. No longer too thin from being overworked and exhausted from being pulled in two directions plus having to teach a dangerous class.

She felt … uncertainty via their marks. She knew it was him, but years of fighting a war and being captured and tortured. Well, she had to ask.

"When was the first time I met you?"

"Technically? The day you were born you made your insufferable presence known to me all day long. There was also the time you read your Hogwarts letter to me as I drifted off to sleep. Do I need to go on?"

"No," she said, rushing to close the difference between them and throw her arms around his waist. It was incredibly forward, certainly other than a friendly kiss she'd given him years ago it was the closest she'd really gotten to him but she couldn't help herself. He was here! He'd come to her!

His arms went around her and she sighed into his chest contentedly very much how Crookshanks snuggled against her when he was feeling affectionate as he drew her further into his embrace. This had been what was missing.

Hers.

Even his scent, the smell of him was right.

Home.

"What are you doing here?"

"Would you believe I was in the neighborhood?"

She snorted. "No."

"Well then that's a daft question to ask. Clearly I'm here for you."

"Why?"

"You contacted me. That was the sign I was waiting for, I suppose. I think we both needed time post-war to acclimate ourselves. I'm not sure I'm done yet, but contrary to what you may believe I was relieved to hear from you."

"Should I be sorry it took me so long? I assumed you'd contact me."

"I was not fifteen when we discovered what our marks were and what they meant."

"I suppose you're right."

"My plan was not to use an unauthorized portkey to jettison off to Australia at the drop of a hat as soon as you did contact me. That may seem a little too … excited than I wish to portray myself. However, I know how badly you want your parents returned to you. I presume two minds trying to figure out a way to bring your parents back to you can't hurt."

"You want to help me?"

"I can feel it when you think about them. I'm not sure you're aware of that. I am sure you feel me as I feel you and know what various things mean. That is to say, you get a feeling about you … Melancholy, I suppose. I can always tell when you're thinking about them. It's completely foreign to me, caring about your parents, but that's irrelevant. I don't find it particularly enjoyable feeling that, so let's observe your parents and see what we can do."

"Because you don't want to feel that anymore?"

"No, because I don't want you to feel that anymore, Hermione."

She drew away a bit, tilting her head up to look at him and he kissed her forehead. That made her blush. And feel warm.

"Thank you."

"You are welcome. The office would not let me know which room was yours and I didn't want to use magic since you indicated you may be here for two weeks. It seems the right amount of money loosened their lips as to which motor vehicle was yours."

"Well, that's kind of good, I guess."

He chuckled.

"Yes, well, it is what it is."

"How long have you been standing here?"

"Not overlong. I disillusioned myself until I saw you come out so that no one would wonder why I was standing here."

"I'm sorry."

"Nothing to apologize for."

"You really want to do this?"

"I do," he said.

"All right," she said, stepping away from him. She got a little thrill that he hadn't pulled away or anything. He touched her back! He hadn't just stood there when she hugged him. He kissed her!

"First," she said, eyeing him as if she still wasn't really certain he was standing here. His telling smirk said he knew it, too.

"Yes?"

"Kiss me," she whispered.

"What?"

"I need to know something."

"And my kissing you will tell you?"

"I think so," she said.

She thought he was going to laugh at her for a second. He leaned in, though, sliding his arms still at her hips around her waist and tugged her closer. His mouth found hers and she gasped. He started to draw away, but she clutched to him.

This.

She'd thought there was something wrong with her.

She'd thought she was frigid or possibly not interested in men. (She found that odd because she knew that she was not attracted to women.)

She sighed against his lips. He did the same.

"Did that tell you what you need to know?"

"Mostly," she said, sounding coy.

"Mostly?"

"You may need to do it again to be sure I'm right in my thinking."

"It would not be problematic catering to that wish."

"Good to hear."

"I can return home a happy wizard."

"Maybe you could show me? Home, I mean."

"After we've determined what can be done about your parents, yes."

"Really?"

"I'd like to tempt you into joining my life rather than having to rejoin yours."

"Oh?"

"I think the potential for contentment is stronger away from London."

"I think you might be right actually. I have thought about whether I want to stay or go elsewhere. It's a huge magical world and you know me. I'm immensely curious."

"That is exceedingly good to hear since I've already announced I'm spoken for."

"Have you?"

"It may have come out, yes."

"We wouldn't want anyone to think you were lying."

"Exactly."

"Well, let's go see about fixing my parents then. I somehow can't wait to show those you've announced this to that you actually are spoken for."

"First things first obviously."

"Obviously."

"Oh, and Hermione."

"Yes?"

"I lied about Sugar Island suiting my needs, just by the way. There was very definitely something … rather someone … missing."

~The End~

Story ©Susan Falk/APCKRFAN/PhantomRoses.com