Eden lay with her head on the pillow of her sister's bed. She could have slept on any of the beds really, but she hadn't strayed from Mia's yet.
She had a sister.
Forget just having a sister.
She had a twin!
They'd spent the past two weeks telling one another everything about each other. And their parents. Their lives had been quite different. Mia had remained in the same area once their mom and grandparents had moved to America. Eden and their dad had traveled pretty extensively for the past eleven years. Mia went to public school and was involved in a slew of activities. Eden was homeschooled and had tutors. She had physical education, and it was usually with other homeschooled students in the area. The problem was, she moved so frequently that she never really made friends. Not the type she'd talk on the phone to or anything.
When they weren't in Mia's room, talking, they were in the library looking at various newspapers: muggle and magical. Mia showed Eden various happenings near where she'd grown up. Eden showed Mia some about their dad's job over the years. He didn't make the magical newspapers as much anymore as he had nine to eleven years ago.
Mia, other than relocating to America from Australia before she was one, had been in the same area of Minnesota her entire life. She and their mom had first lived with their mom's parents, until her mom found a house she wanted to call home. Mia had been about four when they moved into that house, and they still lived there.
She and her dad had a house in Britain, but she'd never seen it. Their dad traveled a lot, so she rarely remained in the same place for more than a year. Sometimes they'd move to a different city in the same country: India, for example, had a few magical areas and they each housed their own lab.
Mia was shocked their father didn't do much to celebrate the Christmas holidays. Eden was equally as shocked at the grandeur their mother and grandparents seemed to go to for the holidays.
It was their last night of holiday break together. Everyone would be returning tomorrow.
Eden knew their mother was a lawyer with a small apothecary business, working as an accountant on occasion. She'd worked her way through college and law school by doing accounting. It sounded like now she did at as a favor for people who needed help because their normal accountant was unavailable. (There was one woman in town, Mia said, who had a baby and decided not to go back to work afterward, leaving a lot of clients with no accountant.) That they lived in rural Minnesota and that Mia grew up a sporty girl.
Mia knew their father was a potions master and traveled to different countries to train each country's labs. They'd been living in Canada since 2009. Their father assumed he'd be done by now, so hadn't realized Ilvermorny would be her school until it was too late.
They both giggled while she tried to do her impression of her father calling the entire Canadian Ministry's potions department dunderheads.
They told one another about birthdays and holidays. Vacations and excursions. School and friends. Eden didn't really have many, and it was more due to their moving than lack of desire to have them. She was hoping that would change here, but other than Ilene and Leo, she hadn't really. A few in the Serpents talked to her, but she always wondered if they were doing it because they felt sorry for her.
Both of the sisters were quiet tonight. That hadn't been the case the entire break until now. There was always something to say, and no one to tell them it was after curfew and to be quiet. Things would go back to normal tomorrow, and neither wanted them to.
It was like Eden found an old shoe she lost and didn't know how much she missed being able to wear that pair of shoes. They completed and complemented one another.
Both were too busy getting to know every single thing about one another, and their parents, to take the time to be upset with their parents.
While Mia was outside learning about quidditch, because she really did want to learn, that wasn't a lie to get their mum just to allow her to stay here over the Christmas holidays, Eden sat in the pitch stands watching and reading up on the sport. She wanted to learn so that she could contribute to the conversations. Mia was up on Eden's interests as a whole, so there wasn't much learning for her.
Mia had some of Eden's hair wrapped around her finger.
"Do you think he still loves her?" she asked.
"Who?" Eden asked, sounding very much as if she hadn't a clue who Mia was asking about. She didn't. Her father had never dated anyone to love. At least not that Eden knew of. Did he have a girlfriend? She didn't think so. He rarely left her alone long enough to go out on dates or anything. She knew he never had a woman at their homes.
Mia gasped softly, seemingly surprised Eden didn't know what she was asking. "Lily. Uncle Harry's mom."
Eden shifted her head, turning to look at Mia who let go of the hair she was holding, and looked at her sister.
There was something she hadn't really thought of until this moment. Of all the things they'd talked about, Mia having a godfather hadn't really been dwelled on or a focal point.
"Is he my godfather?" Mia's question was forgotten for the moment.
"I don't know," Mia said. She was clearly thinking about her question. She squinted with a soft huff. "You don't have one?"
"Not that I know of," she said, shaking her head. Their father didn't discuss things like that. Honestly, now that she thought about it. She had no idea where she would go if something happened to him. Their mum? Or did he have someone else in mind? Who? He had no relatives that she knew about. He had associates, but no one she thought was his friend. Certainly not friendly enough to take her if something happened to him.
"Well, I'm sure he would be if you want him to be."
"I don't think it works like that," Eden said.
She knew she sounded petulant, but it kind of hurt that her twin had gotten to know a godfather. That she knew if something happened to Mum, she had someone to take care of her. Of course, Eden hadn't really thought of anything happening to their father until this very moment.
"Well, of course it does. We're a set now, Eden."
She brightened at that for a moment. And then she came back to reality. This was temporary. Granted, ten months out of the year. Yes, they'd be a set. What if her father transferred job locations again and pulled her from Ilvermorny? She hoped he wouldn't do that, but he just might with as unhappy as he was that she had to come here.
"Yeah, until July," Eden said.
No doubt they were both thinking it.
Both grew quiet.
In July they'd have to go home. To their separate parents and their separate homes, in separate countries. (Ironically, currently, they didn't live too far from one another.)
Eden knew her father felt he was close to being done with this job. So, it was a very real possibility that she could have to transfer schools next year. That she'd spend her summer somewhere other than Saskatoon.
Best not to dwell on that. Maybe, now that she started at Ilvermorny, he'd let her stay here. Maybe. Or he'd want to pull her, but listen to her argument that she should stay since she already started.
"He doesn't love her," Eden said, remembering Mia's question from a few minutes ago.
"How do you know?" Mia asked. She clearly didn't believe her. Eden read the same articles and information Mia had. She hadn't grown up with their father, though. So, she didn't have information Eden did.
"He told me." She shrugged. "I think he felt he had to. I don't think he wanted to. He's a pretty private man. He said he knew the subject was bound to come up at some point now that my magical education was beginning, so wanted me to know the facts."
"Is he married to someone else? Do we have a step-mom?" Mia asked.
"No," Eden said with a scowl. That was a ridiculous question. "Why? I would have told you if he was."
Mia pointed at the picture of their father that she held in her other hand. Eden was pretty sure neither of them were ever going to tire of finally having a face to put with the name Mum or Dad.
She had a mum!
"He's wearing a wedding band."
Eden's eyes narrowed as she regarded the picture Mia was looking at.
"No, he's not."
"Eden, he is. That is clearly a wedding band," she said, pointing at their father's left ring finger.
Eden shook her head. "There is no ring on his finger, Mia."
Mia stared at the picture and then Eden. She wasn't crazy. There was very clearly no wedding band on his left ring finger in this picture. And then she thought about the fact that their father was a wizard and rather private.
"You don't see it?" Mia asked.
"No."
"He has to be preventing you from seeing it somehow if you can't even see it in this picture."
"I swear to you, Mia, I do not see a ring."
Eden was kind of surprised at how quickly Mia had come to the same conclusion she had. If their father was wearing a wedding band that Mia could see in a photograph but Eden couldn't, he was obviously doing something to prevent her from seeing it.
Mia went on to describe the ring. It was a basic wedding band really. She couldn't see it that closely. Magical photograph or not, she wasn't able to get a better look. If this was a muggle photograph and she had her computer, she could zoom in on it and get a better look she said. Eden knew what a computer was, but was a little lost beyond that. She didn't use them much. She knew the word zoom and what it meant, though, so assumed Mia was saying she could focus in on the ring better.
"You didn't find it odd he told you about Lily but not about our mom?"
"I just assumed, I guess, Mum was, you know, dead. There aren't articles and books written about our parents."
"There are too!" Mia said.
"Not together!"
"But they clearly got married because of that decree."
They'd read plenty the past couple of months. Their parents were mentioned quite a bit here and there, but other than the announcement of their marriage and their names included with the other parents who had babies on the same day. Well, there hadn't been much of anything at all about the two of them together.
"They did," Eden said. Both surmised that was the reason. It had to be.
"It didn't make them marry each other," Mia said.
Eden couldn't help but agree with her twin. The decree did not specify marriage. It was the reason it was abolished, it sounded like. Too many were having the children the decree called for without wedding vows. Wizarding Britain thought nothing of forcing people to procreate, but seemed to have an opinion on illegitimate children coming out of that decree.
There were a few articles that made it sound as if the decree was responsible for the Statute of Secrecy nearly getting violated a few times. No specifics, so neither witch knew what that meant. They guessed it meant that witches or wizards went to muggles to create children with and it backfired a few times.
"Does he love her?" Mia asked
"I don't know," Eden said.
She never asked. She really hadn't. He told her about Lily Potter, and she'd seen how much it hurt him. And it hadn't hurt him as if he was bothered by talking about it. It hurt him that his past might be a burden to her. Her future. So she … just never asked.
Ridiculous now that she thought about it. She was curious about everything! Why not her mother? She loved her father so much, though, and hated seeing him hurting and looking sad, so she just put her curiosities aside and let it be.
It just hadn't seemed hugely important.
She supposed because she'd never had a mother to miss or to think anything was wrong. Being privately tutored until now, she didn't go to school being the only child without a mum. The tutors her father employed never mentioned a mother, which she presumed meant her father told them something as to why she wasn't with them.
"Can you find out?"
"How on earth do you think I could do that if he's never spoken about her in almost twelve years, Mia! You could ask Mum?"
"Mom doesn't wear her wedding band."
"No?" If she was hiding it, like their dad was, Eden should have seen it in pictures, so she supposed she had to agree with her on this.
"Not that I've ever seen. You could tell him that you met Leo's mom, or Ilene's, and it made you curious…"
"I'll have to do better than that, Mi. Former spy, remember?"
"I suppose," Mia said, sounding put out by that. Eden was a little, too.
"You could ask her why she never got married."
"She'll see right through that. Cleverest witch of her age."
"I suppose."
Why did they have to have clever parents?
"Next year when the Serpents play the Thunderbirds… I'll be chaser, of course," Eden smiled at this. She was a little jealous of how confident Mia was that she would make the team. Mia had taught Eden some Tae Kwon Do. She could admit she liked it, and would be willing to learn more. "We could invite them to come see the match."
"I don't know if Dad would come."
"Not even if you asked him?"
Mia sounded surprised by that. Eden thought about that.
She knew he attended quidditch matches when he was a student and then when he was professor and head of Slytherin at Hogwarts. They'd gone to a few over the years. He didn't seem to particularly enjoy the sport, though. It never failed that they met a player or two that he'd taught.
She did know who Viktor Krum was, only because their father wasn't particularly fond of him. She never asked him why. He was entitled to like and not like whoever he wanted. Now, though, she wondered if it was because of her mum's friendship with the wizard. He hadn't married, and there'd been more than one article published over the years connecting Hermione Granger (and as a result Mia) with him.
Of course, Eden didn't know until now that that might have bothered their dad.
Neither girl found very many articles about Eden. Not that they found that odd, necessarily. Their father was private. He traveled a lot for his job, so was rarely in one place for a long time. She was privately tutored, so wasn't in the public eye. She had been seen with him over the years, though, and there'd never been articles about who (or where) her mum was.
Would he come if she asked him to? She honestly had no idea. It sounded, from what Mia said, as if their mom and grandparents (and Harry when he could) attended everything of Mia's. The problem was, she didn't participate in anything that required her dad's attendance to know if he would or not. She decided, though, that if she asked him to come. He would realize she wanted him there, and he'd be there.
"He might."
"We'll have the summer to come up with information about them. And six months to plan how we'll get that information."
*****
Hermione set the letter down, glancing out over the empty space where the dock would normally be. It had been taken out for the winter weeks ago. There was already a good layer of ice on the lake in front of her home. She didn't ice fish, but knew plenty in this area who did.
It was Hermione's first Christmas alone in years. She wouldn't deny it hurt that she'd chosen to stay at school instead of coming home to her and her parents.
She's making friends.
She tried to tell herself that mattered. And was important. Of course, it was. It didn't mean it made her miss her any less. She wanted to hear about her classes. More than the letters Mia sent home told her.
She grimaced as she recalled that letter. No fluff or filler. Straight and to the point. She wanted to stay at school. She wanted to learn to fly better so that she could play quidditch.
Harry and Viktor would love that.
Would her dad? Oddly, she had no idea if he legitimately liked quidditch. She knew when she had been a student at Hogwarts he attended every match, but most professors and students did. So that wasn't saying much. They'd lived together for months, but the subject of quidditch never really came up.
Who knew that she'd ever wished she had been the one to bring up that subject?
She took a deep breath, feeling the tears rolling down her cheeks. She'd decorated inside and out as she had every year. She thought the house being empty of the festive decor would be more depressing.
She wasn't sure if that was right or not.
It was a good sign. Hermione knew that. She was fitting in. At least with someone. Her letter had said friends. Plural. That implied more than Leo.
Her parents were here as were her friends, so she wasn't alone.
And yet, for nearly twelve years now, Mia had been her everything .
She had no idea how to be Hermione without Mia in the equation. Hermione the lawyer, accountant, and discount apothecary runner. She knew those roles inside and out.
She wasn't sure she'd ever been just Hermione, truth be told. She wouldn't say her parents pressured her or were ungodly strict or anything, but as long as she could remember there was the underlying expectation that she was too smart for this or that when she thought of jobs she wanted to do as a kid.
*****
Severus set the dishes to washing. It wasn't the first Christmas meal he'd eaten alone. It was the first in twelve years, though. At one time, he thought he liked it. Meals alone. Holidays that were no different than any other day of the year.
He hadn't realized that had changed until now.
He was, of course, glad that she had friends. Friends enough to want to stay behind over the holiday break to spend time with them. That was a good sign. A sign she wasn't too much like him. That was the desired outcome. He wanted her to be a better functioning person than he was, even today.
He glanced at his hand after he hung the towel up he'd dried them off with. He made a fist before extending his hand completely, eyeing his palm. She was so small when she was born. Her sister had been, too. Barely five pounds. Barely more than a foot and a half long. When he realized he was really on his own with Eden, he had no idea how he was going to do it.
And then he came to the conclusion that if he treated her as he would a fragile potion ingredient that required careful handling, he'd be fine. A ridiculous comparison, but here they were with her nearing the age of twelve. So it had obviously worked.
He looked out his window. There was nothing outdoors for him to see. It was dark and he lived in a pretty rural area. So, there were no cars driving by or holiday lights emitting from the house next door.
He wondered what Mia was doing tonight. Having dinner with her mum, grandparents, Harry, and Krum? He didn't think she was dating the quidditch player, but they were seen together often enough that it did make him wonder.
She was a passionate woman, who would obviously have needs.
Needs he could admit he'd be envious of Krum, or anyone, being able to fulfill.
He hadn't expected her to leave. He assumed he would get more time. Like everything else in his life, though, the trick was on him. He supposed he should be grateful that her leaving as she had implied she truly did think he could take care of Eden.
He realized he didn't want to be alone tonight. He avoided thinking of Mia, not because he didn't care but because he didn't know anything about her to care, and that bothered him. Did she prefer skirts to denims, he wondered? Her hair when she'd been born had been very dark, as had Eden's. Eden's hadn't changed color as she grew older. Had Mia's? He was normally able to keep busy and occupied enough to distract himself from thinking of her. Them. Even when Eden was standing right next to him.
Tonight was not the night to start down that path. There was a pub in town he knew would be open. He wasn't really friendly with anyone here, but certainly having a drink with others like him, who had no one, had to be better than sitting here alone.
Sitting home alone always led to thoughts he didn't need to be having.
Regrets.
Curiosity when she came to care for him. And how he'd completely missed it.
Okay, him missing it wasn't unexpected. Was it?
That didn't mean he didn't regret it.
He sighed heavily as he prepared to go out in the Saskatoon Christmas night.
To share whiskey with others like him who'd fucked up somewhere along the way that they had no one to spend this night with.
He wished he did. He hadn't had much time to think about or dwell on it being busy with Eden and work, but he missed his wife. Had missed her for nearly twelve years.
The worst part?
There were still people who presumed he loved Lily. That his wife had left him because he was incapable of living in the present instead of the past.
Not to disparage Lily, or his memories of her, but she wouldn't have made him feel the way his wife had. The night, not long before Eden - and Mia - were born, they had a discussion until about three o'clock in the morning on the Imperius. And whether there could ever be an … excusable reason to use it. A conversation that he replayed his memory of more than a few times over the years. Looking for any sign, any hint, that she had been baiting him. Because he'd never had such a conversation with anyone but Albus prior to that night.
He tried to get Lily to listen to his arguments about the Dark Arts not necessarily being evil. That any spell or charm could be used maliciously, if the intent by the caster to cause harm was there.
Her outright dismissal of the idea, her unwillingness to hear him out, had made him shelf broaching the subject with anyone ever again.
Until his wife brought up the Imperius one night. Nearly nine hours later, both thoroughly exhausted (he because he'd been brewing all day prior to dinner and the beginning of the conversation, her because she was acting as an incubator to two humans so tired at the drop of a hat), he'd shelved telling her that . How much he enjoyed the conversation. How he'd come to feel for her. He vowed he'd do it in the morning. When they were both rested. He wouldn't say that and have her laugh at him, or tell him the next morning that she could never feel that for him.
He chickened out.
No surprise to anyone who knew him and his (no) relationships until that point. And then she was gone before he even knew what had truly … happened.
Those thoughts.
Those memories.
Well, he didn't want them tonight.
He wasn't going to drown his sorrows in a bottle of whiskey like his father.
No, he worked very carefully not to be like him.
He was, however, not going to sit in this empty house alone. A house that wasn't even his! That would lead to madness, and he did not want to go down that road.
Story ©Susan Falk/APCKRFAN/PhantomRoses.com