Hermione woke in their bathroom, retching into the toilet. She didn't even remember going in there. She scorgified it before washing her face and the tears from her eyes. She clutched the marble countertop for a moment before setting about brushing her teeth yet again tonight so she could return to their bedroom. She didn't join Severus in bed, though she knew he was awake and watching her. She didn't need to see him to know that he was nor to know that he was concerned. Instead, she took a seat on a chair next to the bed, letting her body calm down. Letting her mind adapt to the fact that she was all right. It was not happening.

She had nightmares regularly, but they were always worse here. Usually she'd wake up and know it was just a nightmare, something she hadn't really experienced. That she was safe. Here, though, she couldn't do that.

It was worse this time than it had been for Harry's birthday and New Year's Eve. Way worse.

She didn't want to think that it was because they'd been seen in public together. That couldn't possibly have any bearing on her subconscious. The dreams weren't about him, so it wasn't as if her mind was telling her to stay away from him or that she wasn't safe.

It wasn't even that they'd been seen together so the cat was out of the bag. She was now a curiosity among the wizarding world. That was inevitable she supposed given he apparently had dated no one in over seventeen years.

Articles had been written since they were spotted having what was obviously an intimate dinner together. A date. The first that Severus Snape had ever been seen on, and with someone that Wizarding Britain didn't know.

That Rita Skeeter was accusing her of bedding Severus to get to Harry Potter's vast riches. That she was afraid that Severus' friends might think the same thing, or something similar so were looking at her in a different light this visit from the last.

She liked to think that the Malfoys were better people than that. If she'd been a gold digging harpy out for a rich man, there'd been other, more obvious wizards to pursue at Harry's birthday celebration. The Malfoys were his friends, knew him well, surely they didn't think he was that easily taken in by a witch?

There was so much to think about now.

Her parents wanting to meet him. The magical world knowing about them. He had an image to keep so he had been careful that night the same as she had. He had held her hand at the dinner table, held her chair out for her, and so on. All things pointing toward a date. Dressed as they were merely drew excess attention to them because she'd wager people forgot (or didn't know) that Severus was half-blood.

She wasn't regretting it, but it was a bit overwhelming at times. She didn't pay much attention to the Daily Prophet, but she could always tell by the tone of his letters or his mood if she saw him on the weekend when something particularly … snarky had been printed.

She was grateful she'd gone the No-Maj college route, though, and wasn't doing something at the Ministry where she'd be under even more scrutiny. She could handle whatever the likes of Rita Skeeter handed her. She knew things about that witch no one else did and she'd never met someone like Hermione.

She just hated that focus was on Severus when he'd been so careful over the years to avoid that. He was an adult and obviously had to have known what taking her to dinner would mean and what that implication to others would cause. So she had to assume he was okay with it. It didn't mean that she liked he had to contend with it while she was at college, rather protected since to this point Rita Skeeter hadn't even discovered her name.

Severus seemed impressed that not even Sirius or Remus would reveal her name to anyone asking. She certainly hadn't yet learned where she was going to college to pester her on campus.

For his part, she was pretty sure he thought she was going to end things with him as the articles escalated. They were seen once and not again, well, Rita for a day or two suggested that she was either a paid escort or not real at all but someone Severus had disguised with charms to appear as she was so that it would appear he had a date.

As if.

As if she'd end things with him over that beetle.

As if he'd suddenly decide he needed to have a witch after years of not having one.

Those who knew him, of course, knew better. Sadly, because of his rather reclusive lifestyle there were far more that did not know him so the rumour and gossip mills were busy. She knew it would die down eventually.

Was all of that the reason the nightmares were so brutal and uncontrollable this visit?

"Are you going to tell me what this is, Hermione?"

His voice was scratchy from lack of use but he was obviously awake. Funny, she knew the different tones to his voice now. Something she hadn't really thought about until recently because the idea of waking up with a wizard had never entered her mind.

"What?" she asked.

She was playing dumb, hoping he'd let it drop. She really didn't want to talk about this, not here.

She knew better, though. He was a smart man. This was their second time at Malfoy Manor together, sharing the same bed and the second time she'd experienced nightmares to the point of making her physically ill. She was pretty sure he was aware she'd had them when she was here for Harry's birthday celebration, too. He'd never said so. Other nights they spent together away from here she might have had a nightmare or two, but never as severe as these were.

So of course he'd be curious. He cared, too, so that would lead to him wanting answers as well. She loved that about him because she and Harry were the only ones who saw that.

"I have slept with you several times now, at least one weekend night if not both since January. I am aware that you have nightmares and I understand why. This, though," he said, gesturing to her and the bathroom. "Is not normal and it only seems to be while we are here."

She stood from the chair then, walking to the windows their room offered. Since she was Severus' guest they had a nicer set of rooms in the family section of the home than she'd had while here for Harry's birthday in July. It looked out over a beautiful garden that was obviously charmed to be blooming in April.

She sighed heavily, crossing her arms in front of her chest, rubbing her hands against her biceps. She swallowed, not feeling as if she was going to get sick again. That was good.

"I didn't even imagine it would be a problem when I came here in July. I thought I'd get over it. That I'd be fine eventually."

"Get over what?"

"It was here," she whispered.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"It was here," she said, gesturing to the scar on her neck that matched what Bellatrix LeStrange had done to her in her original timeline. Faded as it was to be barely noticeable unless one knew what to look for, or looked extra closely, it was still there. And she saw in detail in her nightmares how that timeline's Hermione received it.

"What?" he asked.

She gestured to the scar on her neck and the one on her arm.

"I was tortured here," she whispered.

She was very grateful that they both cast silencing charms on their rooms so nosy elves (or manor dwellers). Hers were sufficient. She knew, though, that as powerful as Severus' charms were, not even the elves would overhear this discussion.

"And you have said nothing? You did not think to tell me?"

He didn't look mad, thankfully. Horrified, a look she never imagined seeing on his face. She didn't mean to hurt him. She didn't tell him for him. She knew if she did he'd stop coming here for overnights, and she had not come here to come in between Severus and his friends. People who had been good to him and to Harry over the past eighteen years.

"I really thought that I'd get over it, that my mind would acclimate and realize that it wasn't happening again. That it hadn't truly happened to this version of me."

"Hermione," he said, looking horrified. "I would never have put you in a position of physically being where such things occurred to you."

"I know," she said.

She did know, but these were people he was friendly with. These were people who had opened their home to him and to Harry so that their holidays for the past eighteen years were not spent just the two of them. She had hoped they'd go away so it wouldn't come to this. She didn't want to be the reason he chose her over his friend.

And he would. She knew that.

"That's why I didn't say anything. The Malfoys are your friends."

"Was it bad in July?" he asked, standing from the bed.

"It was. I almost left after the morning after the birthday party. I even started packing my bag, thinking I'd come all this way just for you to want to talk to me about articles I'd written."

He made his way to her, sliding his arms around her waist, resting his cheek against the top of her head. She gave a partial smile at the contact.

"Then we will leave and celebrate Easter elsewhere," he murmured against her ear.

"No! How would you explain it? No, Severus. I maybe should have asked for some Dreamless Sleep, but I didn't want to admit I might need it. I don't like the idea either of becoming reliant on something to sleep. I really hoped," she said.

She turned in his arms, pressing her face against his chest. This was the first night he'd come to bed without a shirt on. Not even that, the scent and feel of him bare against her face like this could stop her breakdown. Tears fell and she sobbed against him. He held her tight, which was exactly what she wanted. Needed. His arms around her.

"Shh, my witch," he whispered.

He ran his fingers through her hair. She felt it when he did that, felt his magic calming her as he touched her. Felt a kiss to the top of her head.

"If you insist on staying we will, but this is the last time we will be staying here. I will find an excuse as to why we cannot again."

"I feel so weak," she said.

He scoffed and lifted her into his arms and carried her back to their bed.

"You are so far from weak, the fact I'm even in your stratosphere humbles me incredibly, Hermione. Pleased, of course, but humbled just the same."

She let him set her on the bed and draw the covers up around her.

"I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, my witch. Through Harry's eyes. You didn't understand your need to decline your Hogwarts letter, but you trusted your gut and bravely went to an entirely different continent where you knew you wouldn't see your loved ones regularly at eleven years old."

"You have enabled the magical law enforcement community to do their jobs for a longer period of time without risk of being caught. You have found me subjects willing to try my ointment on a long-term basis so that I can get sufficient data behind it before I market it. I would never have had those contacts, would never have thought of it. There are no such housing situations in Britain as you know."

"I know," she gasped.

"You did make it to dawn tonight," he said.

"Yes," she murmured. She had noticed that, too.

"Rest. I will make your apologies at breakfast."

"Oh, no, Severus."

"Rest! Your wizard's orders."

She smirked then, drawing a hand out from under the covers to skim a finger over his face.

"Well, if my wizard says I must."

"Exactly. I will remember this moment of compliance when you attempt to defy me in the future."

She laughed softly, her eyes fluttering as the bed called to her.

"M'kay," she said, settling against her pillow again. Her hand sought out his pillow and she drew it against her. It wasn't him, but it smelled like him so it would do. She knew he would make an appearance at breakfast and give her excuses.

It was well after breakfast when she felt rested enough to make herself presentable to go downstairs. She heard conversation coming from the library and headed in that direction. She loved the Malfoy library.

"I can only say that I am incredibly glad there will be no more Weasleys at Hogwarts for at least eleven years."

"I can imagine having them as students got quite old. Those twins …"

"Actually, the twins would not have been so bad if they'd applied their love for creating gags and experimentation into actual school work. Some of their creations have been impressive."

"I see," Lucius said.

"I find myself at a crossroads," she heard Severus say. "With Harry contemplating a flat of his own," he shrugged. She knew he was. Until now he'd been crashing on teammates couches or coming home to his rooms at Hogwarts.

"You finally have the chance to live your life, leave the nest as it were," Lucius offered. "The nest being Hogwarts' protection and the headmaster's scrutiny."

"Yes. I admit I never thought this day would come so I never put much thought into what exactly I'd do when it arrived. And suddenly, it's here."

"Of course that is until you have children of your own. That will be newsworthy after all of this time I'm sure."

"What?" Severus asked.

"Children of your own." Lucius chuckled. "You have thought about that, haven't you, my friend? You have a young, smart, and beautiful witch you have told me you are courting, Severus. The articles the Daily Prophet have printed certainly suggest others believe you are doing so as well. I would assume and hardly think that I am the only one making such an assumption…"

She stopped in the hall then. This was the one subject they'd both been eerily silent about until now. How many children would he expect? She was just approaching the end of her first year of college so she was in no hurry, but she was curious.

"I hardly think that would be a wise thing to do nor am I courting her with the expectation that she beget me heirs, Lucius. She is too smart for that and I look forward to seeing her achieve her potential. I have spent seventeen years being a father. I really have no desire to start again. I would do it again in a heartbeat, of course. Harry saved me as much as I saved him, but I long ago contented myself that the Snape name will - as it should - die with me."

She gasped softly from the doorway, really not having meant to come in in the middle of a private conversation. She just followed the voices, Severus' voice really, and only too late did she realize they were having one of those conversations. She'd never dreamt he didn't want any children with her.

His words … wounded her after feeling so exposed to him with her nightmares here. She saw the look in Lucius' eyes when he noticed her, knew he heard her, and he looked … worried.

Interesting.

She hadn't gotten the impression Lucius Malfoy liked her very much. They hadn't talked frequently or with any depth while she was here for Harry's party in July. They had talked, though. He was aware of how much time she spent with Severus that weekend.

"I'm sorry," she said, quickly. "Excuse me. I'll…"

"Hermione," she heard Severus call after her, overlapping with Lucius saying something about him having put his foot in his mouth.

She ran.

She didn't think about where she was going. She just had to get out of there.

How embarrassing! How humiliating!

To have him tell his friend he didn't want children with her. They hadn't talked about it, but she had just assumed … obviously incorrectly. Why would he want to court her if he didn't want to have a family with her? What did that even mean? And here she'd been worried like the Weasleys he'd want a slew of them!

She made it back to their room, quickly assembled her belongings into her charmed backpack. She then did something she had not done here before. She hadn't wanted to risk the overwhelming reaction she might have experienced seeing him. He was the only one she knew by name, though.

"Dobby," she called.

He was still here, she knew it. None of the events in her memories had happened so he hadn't left Malfoy Manor.

"What can Dobby do for you, Missy?"

"I need to get off the property. Can you apparate me to the gates?"

"If Missy is sure…"

Oh God, if she didn't leave now she'd collapse in a heap and cry right now. As if she wasn't humiliated enough. She was still so raw after the nightmares she'd had the night before. She couldn't do that here. Not now.

"Please, Dobby," she said.

Whether it was the unshed tears in her eyes or the pleading tone of her voice. It didn't really matter because he nodded, his eyes looking concerned.

"Of course," he said, taking her hand and with a pop they were no longer in her bedroom but in front of the gates leading from Malfoy Manor. She took a deep breath, glancing back at the property on the other side of the gates. Was this cowardly? She wasn't sure. She just knew she had to leave and her instincts hadn't steered her wrong to this point in her life.

"Thank you very much, Dobby," she said.

She felt more tears filling her eyes, knew if she stood here near him much longer they'd fall and never stop. The emotion at seeing this elf, knowing the last time she saw him was in her previous timeline when he had saved her life. And then died. This elf had given his life so that she might live.

"I have missed you."

Dobby looked at her, trying not to show his confusion. Likely, he was afraid she would react violently if he questioned her as to what she meant. Undoubtedly he was still used to being mistreated. She leaned down then and kissed the top of his head. She set her hand there then with a deep sigh. It was time to go.

"Missy?"

"Be well, Dobby, I wish everyone could know how brave and loyal you are. That you are a hero. Don't ever let anyone tell you different," she said before spinning away in her own apparition.

She went home.

Home to her parents'.

It was the first place she thought of going.

She stood disillusioned in front of the house for a good thirty minutes without going in. She wouldn't say she was sobbing while standing there, but between the nightmares causing her not to sleep well and hearing that she was in a relationship with someone who evidently didn't want a family with her.

Well, she was raw and the tears were definitely flowing freely.

Realistically, practically she couldn't blame him really.

He'd spent the last eighteen years being a father to the son of a wizard who he loathed and had tormented him as an adolescent and a witch who had been his only friend who stopped talking to him because of an insult he'd said to her at a time he was feeling defensive and hurting. Would she want to start over at the age of forty if their situation was reversed?

She just wished he'd told her. She couldn't say what she would have done, but it would have been nice to know that. And to not overhear him telling Lucius Malfoy how he felt.

Was she deficient somehow? She'd spent months thinking the lack of him attempting anything physically between them was respectful. That old world courtesy the wizarding world followed.

Maybe it had been something else entirely?

Maybe he didn't want her. He said he did, but as if she knew anything about men. Her inexperience in these matters was definitely a hindrance with her knowing what it meant.

She realized this wasn't where she wanted to be. As much as she loved them, this wasn't home. Not in her soul it wasn't. It was just the place she'd been brought up. That would sound incredibly ungrateful and bitchy to anyone who didn't understand her or know the relationship she had with her parents.

She apparated again, finding herself outside the gates of Hogwarts. She sighed softly at the feeling that washed through her.

Belonging.

Welcoming.

This was home.

Even her hair told her that, crackling and standing on end, seeming to guide her in the direction of the gates.

"Okay," she said, setting her hand on the gates hopefully.

She wasn't sure if she was surprised or not that they opened for her, allowing her onto the grounds. She made her way to the castle and while her first instinct was to go to the Gryffindor common room, she went another direction.

Up to the seventh floor and the atrocious painting.

I need the room where Severus and I first met.

The door appeared and she walked in, sighing softly at the familiarity of it. She knew from her memories that this was a room Hogwarts created for her when she wanted time alone. So she'd spent hours here before the Room had ever granted her time with Severus.

And she did view it as the castle granting it to her. It went out of its way to do something for both of them.

She walked to the book shelf and ran her fingers along the spines of the books, recognizing some of them from her memories. Some she didn't. She went to the table and saw the cauldrons they'd used to make burn paste with. They were clean, waiting to be used again but there were no ingredients or other equipment here this time for her to make anything.

Appropriate as she'd likely set her hair on fire with the way she was feeling right now if she tried to brew anything.

She ran her finger over the table, smiling at the memory of brewing with him she had. She hadn't truly experienced it, not in this room anyway. He had, though. It was so interesting to think about that. She had in his lab more than once since coming to Edinburgh. This room, this table, though, was special to her. She imagined it was to him, too, because he actually had experienced brewing with her here.

She sighed, feeling tears start to fall again now that she felt safe and was somewhere comforting and where she knew she could be alone. No one was going to find her here unless the Room wanted them to.

It wasn't really that she was set on having children. She supposed some witches would be jumping up and down that they weren't expected to procreate every year as those like Molly Weasley had done.

She'd just assumed that would be part of her, their, future. She swiped tears from her eyes. She couldn't say she blamed him. He'd taken Harry on when he was quite young and spent his youth holed up in a remote Scottish castle in part to keep that child safe.

She stepped to the wall and set her hand against it.

"You wanted this," she whispered, resting her head against her bicep as she felt the castle pulse. Her hair was, too. She could feel it doing its Madusa thing. "Do you remember? Do you know what we did?"

Of course it didn't answer her. It was a castle. Sentient though she believed it to be, it would not answer her in a way that she would understand.

As if drawn to it, she went to the bookcase again and pulled out a copy of Gone With the Wind she'd never noticed before, which was odd because she had memorized the titles of the books in it from her memories. They were here for her after all. Hogwarts supplied her with them so that she'd have something to keep her occupied when she came here in her original timeline.

She smiled, remembering them talking about the movie at their hotel in London over the Christmas holidays.

Christmas 1991.

Fondly,

S

Her gaze returned to the bookshelf and she began reading the titles. There were several she didn't remember from before. She pulled them out one by one.

When she was done there were nearly forty books strewn around where she was seated on the floor, representing Christmases and her birthdays beginning in 1981 when he started working here as a professor and ending in 1997, which made sense since she'd come here before her birthday in 1998. Some were muggle fiction novels like Gone With the Wind . Some were rare potions and herbology texts that she wished she'd had her own copy of while she was studying at Ilvermorny. The inscriptions never changed. They weren't personalized, but she knew they had been meant for her.

She really started crying now. Not the pretty crying either, but sobs that racked her body. Of course that was when he found her. She sniffled, wiping her eyes with her hands. She was so confused. These things didn't speak to a man who didn't want everything from and with her.

Everything included a family, their own family Didn't it? Shouldn't it?

"Hello, Severus," she said. She was surprised she sounded as calm as she did just then. She wasn't feeling that way on the inside.

"Hermione," he said, sounding cautious. "I was worried."

"I'm fine as you can see."

"Evidence, your actions, point directly to the opposite so I'd say that is not so."

She lifted her head to look at him. He looked … frazzled. She glanced at her watch and realized he'd likely been looking for her for hours.

"I thought you hadn't been here?" She gestured to the books resting around her to emphasize the meaning behind her question.

"I may have come here a time or two," he said.

"Why?"

He shrugged. She wasn't asking about the books, and he seemed to know that.

"Will you forgive an old wizard who has not had a witch to take into consideration before for speaking out of turn?"

"I don't know," she whispered. "I mean, yes I can forgive you. I don't know, though, where we go from here."

"What do you mean?"

"You don't want children, Severus. I didn't anticipate having many, but I'd assumed," she shrugged. "What do you intend to do with me after you court me if you don't want children?"

"You walked in on a conversation and a topic that I truly hadn't put any thought into when it came to you. Us. Harry leaving my care always seemed so far off. You are still in school and want a career."

"Women have careers and children, Severus."

"I," he shrugged, moving to sit near her on the floor.

"I should have thought before answering him. My knee jerk reaction was of course that I don't want to start over at forty with a baby. Over forty by the time we would be in a position to begin a family. It's a frightening thought especially since I'm not entirely certain I wish to stay at Hogwarts indefinitely. I stayed so that Harry was offered protection. He is an adult, and while I still believe in my heart that I need to protect him. I can't keep him at Hogwarts forever. His thinking of a flat is evidence of that. So, it's a heady thought. Starting over."

"I don't want you to have children because I want to, though. That's not the right beginning for a marriage or children."

"Look at me, Hermione," he said and she did.

She sniffled and he chuckled despite her knowing she had to look an absolute fright. He offered her a kerchief, which she took with a grateful nod. "You would want children with me? Truly?"

"I'm not sure what answer you're expecting. Did you think I said yes to you courting me, being your intended and we'd what? Have a marriage in name only?"

"No! I just truly never imagined anyone wishing to be in a position to want to create a child with me."

"Then you haven't been paying attention, Severus. I'm sure there are several witches who would have wanted to."

"I didn't want them, Hermione. I want you. Can you truly not grasp why it's shocking you'd want to? I am nearly twice your age."

"I know how to do basic mathematical equations, Severus, so I am aware of the difference."

"Hermione. I'm asking a sincere question."

She sighed. "I guess I would have preferred hearing about your thoughts on children firsthand."

"You're right, I shouldn't have said such a thing to Lucius knowing I am courting you and an expectation of courting is marriage and with that would be children. Lucius and I are old friends so I spoke based on the past eighteen years not thinking of what the next eighteen might bring me. I should have also thought of how that comment would reflect on you and my opinion of you perhaps leading Lucius into thinking I am not wanting you to bear my children. That is not the case at all, it is a reflection on me not at all on you that gives me doubts. You have loving and supportive parents. That is not my experience. While my mother and I have a better relationship now, the pain from my childhood is not gone. Trust me, Lucius told me if you forgive me I am an incredibly lucky wizard."

"Did he?"

"He did. He says you soften me," he shrugged. "I'm not sure what that means other than until you I've been all about work, and Harry. Extra potion orders. Extra rounds. Whatever I could do to keep busy. I didn't take trips to London over the holidays or have dinner with witches in Diagon Alley. I worked."

"You do the same to me," she admitted.

She noticed it. She took time for herself to relax. Yes, the nights she came here to stay with him on weekends she brought homework but if she didn't read multiple chapters ahead as she normally did she didn't kick herself. And there'd been a time or two on the weekends when he had rounds or Hogsmeade duties she sat in his tub and read a … fiction book while school was in session. Unheard of for her.

Silence. His hand inched closer to hers and she felt the tip of his middle finger graze hers.  She didn't flinch or draw her hand away. He seemed to take heart in that. Take it as a sign that she wasn't going to end this.

"What did you do to Dobby?"

Her eyes shot up to meet his in horror at the idea something had happened to the elf!

"What? I didn't do anything to him! Is he hurt? If Lucius hurt him…"

"He escaped punishment only because I demanded that he not be hurt."

"Oh, I didn't mean…" She hadn't even thought Dobby might get hurt as a result of what she'd done. How stupid. Of course he would be! She knew how he'd been treated before leaving the Malfoys.

"I am sure you didn't. I have never seen him go against Lucius before. So, I repeat. What did you do to him?"

"I kissed him."

"I'm sorry?"

"Well, I did. I mean on his head, and told him to be well and that he was a hero, and that I wished everyone could know how brave he was."

"I see."

"Will Lucius punish him? Really?" She reached for Severus' wrist, squeezing much the same way she'd done when she told him that Harry could not go to the Dursleys years ago. Something she only had a memory of, she hadn't experienced it. "Severus, you have to stop him. I didn't ask him not to say anything! I just asked him to apparate me off the property."

"No, he will not since I asked him not to, though perhaps I might talk to him about buying Dobby from him."

"Severus."

"Something to think about. He would serve you well and my home could use an elf's touch. He'd stay here until you were ready for him, of course."

"You're serious?"

"I am. That kind of loyalty deserves to be rewarded. The Malfoys, well I can admit they have their inadequacies. Their treatment of their elves is one of them."

"Yes, I'm aware," she said.

"I can imagine you are, though I hope things are better now than they were in your initial experience."

"I hope so, too."

"Am I forgiven?"

"You're not going to like take a contraceptive potion for yourself are you and not tell me?"

He scoffed. She narrowed her eyes at him and he evidently realized the question was a sincere one.

"That would be an incredible violation of the trust that for whatever reason you have put in me. And not just here and now, Hermione. No, I would not do such a thing. Older wizards, hell, older muggle men have become fathers than at my age. I will adjust my plan happily for the chance of having a willing witch in my life and bed for the rest of my days."

She gave a soft giggle, wandlessly reshelving the books.

"Those are yours," he said.

"I know. I'll come back and get them another time."

"Well, at least allow me to bring them to my quarters."

"All right. Thank you," she said.

"You don't have to thank me."

"No, for the books. For thinking of me."

He reached for her, tucking some of her curls behind her ear. "Would you like to stay here tonight?"

"You're not going back?"

"I meant here," he said, gesturing to their room. "But, no, I am not going back. I will have Lucius send my things next week."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"I overreacted."

"Perhaps so, but I can also understand how that conversation sounded to you. On top of your lack of sleep and the effects of nightmares. I was truly talking more of my freedom of choice for the first time in my life. Stay at Hogwarts or go elsewhere. I no longer have Harry Potter to think about. Of course, I always will, I love the wizard don't get me wrong. It's just that everything I've done for the past eighteen years has been for him. I can do whatever I want, and truly it's a rather heady thought. The idea of children, it's never occurred to me as when you didn't show at Hogwarts I really had no idea what to do next. I guess I never got past courting you in my mind to the rest of what might result from that. You were already in a delicate state. Are there any more secrets that you are harbouring? Any other places we should avoid?"

"No, and I hope that we won't have to avoid Malfoy Manor forever."

"I hope so, too, but like I said we can attend Easter dinner without staying the night. It's just been a habit for Harry and me over the years since I left Hogwarts so seldom otherwise."

"Harry's still at Malfoy Manor?"

"He is," he said.

"Let's go home, Severus," she said, standing and offering him her hand which he took.

"I like the sound of that."

"So do I. This, Hogwarts, is home," she said.

She looked fondly at the room. This was theirs. For them. If she came here twenty years from now and asked for this room would it be given to her? She guessed that it would. She liked that.

"I went to my parents' initially, and didn't want to stay. I thought of making and using an unauthorized portkey from something from my parents' rubbish to visit Aiyanna, but well, my mind told me to go home."

"Will you do me a favour?" he asked once they'd gotten to his quarters.

"I think so. I mean, I can try."

"Send a patronus to Malfoy Manor that you are safe and sound with me here at Hogwarts and we will not be returning."

"Why?"

He chuckled. "I can't wait to hear Lucius' reaction to your patronus."

"Oh," she said, laughing softly at that.

He'd told her he thought her patronus was impressive. She hadn't realized he'd found it that impressive. She called up her Thunderbird.

"Please go to Malfoy Manor and tell Lucius Malfoy that Severus and I are safe in his quarters at Hogwarts."

With an ear-piercing squawk the large bird of prey flapped its wings and headed out of Severus' rooms.

"I will never tire of that. I don't know if I have told you, but I know I did Harry. Your patronus has to be one of the most impressive one I've ever seen. Not just the form but the corperealness of it. The first time you sent one to me, if I hadn't seen it come through a wall I would have thought a real Thunderbird had gotten into Malfoy Manor somehow."

"That is a look on your face I should have liked to see."

He summoned a house elf and requested dinner since they missed their Easter dinner at Malfoy Manor.

"On a more serious note, I do have one request, Hermione," he said as they sat to eat the meal brought to them.

"Yes."

"Don't leave me again. I have lived all of my life alone, single other than Harry's constant presence. I could throw in that I literally waited seventeen years for you, evidently twice, but I won't. I didn't wait for any ulterior motives. I don't pretend to be good at this. Relationships I mean. Nor have I had any good examples to look to really. So I may not always say the right thing. I may sometimes say a horribly wrong thing. I am not accustomed to having to take anyone else's feelings into account. Do not presume my intentions are hurtful and speak to me about what I say or do that upsets you."

"I will endeavour not to overreact again."

His lips lifted into a smirk. "That's all that I can ask."

"I'd rather we stay here tonight anyway," he said when they were done eating.

"Why?"

"I don't like that you do not get a good night's sleep when there. You need to go back to school tomorrow well-rested."

"Does that mean you won't make out with your witch before we fall asleep?"

"That doesn't mean that at all. It would be my pleasure to do so."

"Mine, too."

"Well then," he said, gesturing to his bedroom.

"It's quite early, don't you think?"

"I hear groveling may be in order when we wizards say stupid things to or in front of our witches."

"Oh, was I supposed to make you do that?"

"Narcissa will teach you the way of things, I'm sure."

"Not at all the witch I'd want to take lessons from on such matters, but fair enough. I will be sure to study hard for next time."

"I hope that there won't be a next time, and if there is one that it's very far in the future."

"Let's go see to that groveling then, Wizard."

"Lead the way, Witch."

Story ©Susan Falk/APCKRFAN/PhantomRoses.com