She stood with her back pressed flush against the door, panting and flushed. Her right hand went to her face, her fingertips grazing her lips. They were still warm from his being against hers.

Blood rushed in her ears.

She wasn't sure if what she'd just done was incredibly brave or foolish.

Wherever Severus Snape was currently - in this time - he'd know that this was the night they'd first met. They'd talked.

They'd kissed.

Would it be the last time?

So many questions, but he had to know this was the night.

Panic and embarrassment was mixed in there with any excitement, too.

Her hair was practically wrapped around her throat.

What had she done?

Never mind what she had done.

What had she admitted to?

She may as well have put a neon sign above his head with an arrow pointing directly at him.

( Oh my God! )

What had the Room of Requirement done?

She'd just admitted to a sixteen year old Severus Snape that she had a crush on him!

Not just admitted it either, but spelled it out to him very blatantly leaving little doubt as to whom she was talking about. He wouldn't know NOW of course. Well his now, but he was far from stupid and would likely figure it out even before she got here in 1991. She could take some … solace in that. He'd know though certainly by her second year if he didn't figure out the first clues being her setting his robes on fire and solving his riddle.

Assuming he remembered the conversation at all. Maybe he wouldn't. It was fifteen years from the end of his fifth year to her first year. Wasn't it? She was pretty sure she'd read that he'd started in 1971 to her 1991. So his fifth year would have been 1976 like hers was 1996.

Maybe he'd forget? A lot happened to him between 1976 and now.

She'd kissed him!

She felt her cheeks warm again as she came back to that thought. It was a pretty nice kiss, too, as kisses went. He clearly hadn't been expecting her to do it. He wasn't overly experienced at kissing like Viktor had been. He didn't take a good bye kiss and try to do more. That was in essence what it was since she wasn't sure if in her time, here and now, she'd see Severus Snape again. He could be dead right now for all she knew.

Was he? If not, was he all right?

Would he remember?

End of fifth year for him would have been over twenty years from her current time. Maybe he'd forget that part of their conversation. Would he remember it well enough to show up at the church on Saturday if he was in fact on their side? It was a huge risk saying that, she knew, but he was right.

She had to trust her own feelings, her own mind.

Not to say that Harry was stupid. He wasn't at all, but he had feelings for both the headmaster and Severus that weren't always rational. On very different ends of the spectrum between love and hate.

She had no doubt Harry saw what he said he saw, but there had to be a reason for it. There just had to be!

She might have misgivings as to the way the headmaster had gone about things over the past couple of years, but he wasn't stupid anymore than Severus was.

Nor did she think the headmaster was easily fooled or lied to. One could argue he had been about Grindelwald, she supposed. She hoped he'd learned his lesson. She also didn't get the impression he was as … close to Severus as he had been to Grindelwald.

So not stupid and not easily fooled.

Not at all.

Albus Dumbledore had, as far as she could tell, trusted Severus Snape until he died.

Until Severus had killed him.

And he had cast the curse.

That was where she was having a hard time being logical. She had no doubt Harry relayed to her precisely what he'd seen and heard. However, shock and adrenaline could … alter one's mind and perspective. Mix in heightened feelings of affection and hatred.

Severus had told her to trust her instincts. He had no idea what she was talking about, what he was advising her on. He wasn't wrong though.

So.

What did her instincts tell her?

If Albus Dumbledore could trust Severus Snape, she could, too.

Or was that just wishful thinking? Was she letting her feelings get in the way?

She supposed an argument could be made for Voldemort trusting him, too, and maybe it was Dumbledore who was the fool. Unfortunately she didn't know much about his relationship with Voldemort. She wasn't privy to those kinds of things. No one was, but certainly he'd be dead by now if Voldemort didn't trust him. That brought her back to the headmaster possibly being a fool.

Hermione just didn't think so, though. The headmaster saw Severus much more frequently than Voldemort did. It would have to be far harder for him to keep up loyalty non-stop. Wouldn't it?

Why did it have to be so confusing?

There had to be a reason Severus was as good as he was at occlumency. Didn't there? He was rumoured to be second only to Voldemort and the headmaster in ability.

Some said he was better than the dark wizard. Those that believed in him (until last night) thought he had to be in order to have survived as long as he had.

If he was caught by either of his masters?

Dumbledore would likely have him imprisoned in Azkaban, maybe receiving The Kiss, not murdered for any duplicity.

Voldemort would not go that easy on him if his betrayal was discovered. He wouldn't just be killed either. He'd likely be tortured and made an example of before getting around to the killing, which led her to think it was Voldemort he was attempting to occlude against not Dumbledore.

Harry told her that Headmaster Dumbledore had pleaded with Professor Snape.

"Severus, please," is what Harry said he heard.

She reached to touch the door at her back, only to find it had already disappeared and it was back to just being a wall. Her hair at her neck tightened for a moment before loosening and she sighed heavily.

Could Headmaster Dumbledore have been asking Severus to kill him?

There were others up on the astronomy tower, not just Harry and Severus.

Professor Snape.

She had to stop using his first name just because of one evening they'd spent together.

From what Harry had said, Draco and several Death Eaters had been there, too. The Death Eaters were able to gain access to Hogwarts somehow and she was betting that somehow was Draco Malfoy.

Could Draco have been tasked with killing the headmaster and Professor Snape did it instead at the headmaster's request or insistence?

Taken at face value, given the circumstances surrounding the battle, "Severus, please" could very well be taken as a plea not to kill him. That was exactly how Harry was taking it. That was what Hermione had presumed at first, too.

However, if Headmaster Dumbledore wanted a young wizard who had just turned seventeen to avoid having a murder on his conscious, his soul, no matter which side of the war that seventeen year old wizard was on.

Hmm.

Dumbledore's first priority would be to protect his students. Hermione had questions about some of the things he did and let happen, but believed he took that priority seriously. And Draco Malfoy was still his student.

So, if the headmaster knew the outcome - his death - was a given regardless of who cast the Killing Curse. If the headmaster knew he was not getting off that astronomy tower alive.

She wasn't there but she couldn't see how the headmaster could have gotten out of a multiple Death Eaters-on-one situation alive.

Could the headmaster have wanted Professor Snape to do it in Malfoy's stead?

"Severus, please" took on a whole new meaning with that connotation. And, of course, Harry wouldn't have seen it that way due to his hatred and distrust of both Draco and Professor Snape.

As well as his affection for Dumbledore.

Certainly, if he was truly Headmaster Dumbledore's spy as the headmaster seemed to believe, right up until the very end, killing the older wizard would ingratiate him to the Dark Lord.

How better to prove his loyalty than to kill such a powerful wizard?

And possibly put a target on his back because if Tom Riddle couldn't defeat Dumbledore but Severus Snape could.

Wouldn't that imply that Severus was a more powerful wizard than Voldemort?

Somehow Hermione didn't see Voldemort wanting someone anyone might see as being more powerful than him walking around.

Would Voldemort kill him now, realizing others would figure out and see what Hermione just did? That Severus was a better, stronger wizard?

Irrelevant to what she was trying to figure out and there was nothing she could do about that now. 

She had no idea where he'd even go from here and, well, she was only seventeen. She wasn't fool enough to believe she could take on the dark wizard. She very much wanted to help Harry get to the end of this. Whatever that end was. She honestly wasn't sure anymore. Five years ago she'd assumed they'd be easily victorious. The more research she did, the more experience she got, and the more time that went on. Well, she wasn't so convinced that was going to be the case.

What would the Order do now with the headmaster gone? Did anyone alive know his plan? She shuddered as the realization washed through here that there likely wasn't anyone left who did. She could only hope that he'd left details for Professor McGonagall, or someone, to find in his office or somewhere upon his death.

Back to the Astronomy Tower. Dumbledore's death. Draco. Severus.

If what she was thinking was accurate.

With that, him being the one to cast the curse, Professor Snape would spare another wizard from being the one to cast an Unforgivable at such a young age.

God, she wished she could ask him.

Would he be there Saturday?

Certainly by now Severus Snape here and now in 1997 would know that these were the events she had been talking about when they met in the Room of Requirement toward the end of his fifth year.

His first time meeting her.

She'd told him it had been her sixth year. Would he remember their conversation? Remember that this was the night they had met?

And again, oh my God.

Because of course Severus Snape would remember.

She wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

She'd find out Saturday she supposed.

For now.

Right now.

Well, she had to keep Harry from going off and doing something ridiculously stupid. She'd taken tonight to collect herself. To be alone for a while. She didn't think that was selfish. Now, though, she had to get back to work.

"All right, back to the library then," she murmured. She set a hand against the wall where the door should be. "I hope I'm right about you. I hope I'll see you Saturday."

She had to believe them meeting like this was the Room's way of telling her she wasn't misguided in her trust in him being on their side.

And if she was wrong? Well, God help them all because she would show up on Saturday and walk right into his trap. A trap she'd set for herself.

Story ©Susan Falk/APCKRFAN/PhantomRoses.com